[ Where Has My Head Been? ]
[ In The Clouds ]
[ When? ]
[ When There’s A Crowd ]
[ In My Mind ]
[ Because That’s When I’m Inclined ]
[ To Latch Onto Words ]
[ That I Feel That Are Unkind ]
[ They Latch Onto The Memory Part Of My Brain ]
[ Then It’s Like I’m Standing There Staring ]
[ @ The Light Of The Oncoming Train ]
[ Why Can’t I Just Step To The Side ]
[ The Voice Inside ]
[ My Head Said Things Were Okay ]
[ But It Lied ]
[ Because I Really Needed To Get Out Of The Way ]
[ So I Take A Few Steps Back ]
[ Away From The Tracks ]
[ Wow, That Was A Close One ]
[ All I Want To Do Now Is Run ]
[ But I Can’t Escape The Voices In My Head ]
[ Can They Control It With Another Med? ]
[ Or Should I Take Fewer Instead? ]
[ I Need Each & Every Pill & Capsule ]
[ I Could Fall Ill ]
[ & My Senses Could Dull ]
[ I Think I Will Stay Exactly Where I’m @ Med Wise ]
[ Unless My Med Provider Has Been Telling Me Lies ]
[ I Don’t Think So ]
[ How Do I Know? ]
[ I Am Sure ]
[ That I Trust Her ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(1302)▪︎[ Altered States … 11•8•2019 ]
[ Have You Ever Stopped To Think ]
[ Then Had Problems Starting Again? ]
[ Sometimes You Can Blink ]
[ & Wonder Where The Time Went? ]
[ It Is Now A Quarter Past Nine ]
[ But I Only Remember It Being Half Past Three ]
[ Did I Mistakenly Indulge In Some Wine? ]
[ & The Alcohol Was Really Quick To Affect Me? ]
[ Maybe Someone Doctored My Soda With My Sleeping Med ]
[ Did They Want Me Dead? ]
[ Or Just Knocked Out On My Bed? ]
[ My Special Sleep Med Is Dangerous In The Hands Of Someone
Who Wants To Cause Pain ]
[ My Sleeping Medication Can Do Tricks On The Brain ]
[ Sometimes In The Morning The Effect Of The Drug Remains ]
[ Put In The Wrong Hands This Drug Could Cause Harm ]
[ When Under This Drug ]
[ Even A Rattlesnake Has Charm ]
[ Then You Start To Wonder Who You Can Trust ]
[ Your Faith In Others Has Gone Bust ]
[ A Complete Bust Of The Bubble That You Used To Live In ]
[ As For Having The Win Or Lose Mentality ]
[ You’re Never Going To Win ]
[ How’s That For Causality? ]
[ How Do You Come Back From Such A Hellish Ride ]
[ Are Your Eyes ]
[ Now Open Wide? ]
[ Now, What Do You Now Think Of The Guy’s ]
[ That Stand By Your Side ]
[ When They Tell Their Lies ]
[ When Saying That They Never Lied ]
[ When You Proved Them Wrong ]
[ Does That Keep You Going Strong? ]
[ Don’t Try To Figure Out Who Slipped You That Mickey ]
[ Their Mentality Was Fairly Sickly ]
[ Getting The Truth Out Of Some]
[ Would Be Pretty Tricky ]
[ The Best Thing To Do Was To Chill ]
[ Before You Get Ill ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(819)▪︎[ So, So Sad … 9•25•2020 ]
[ Sad, So So Sad What The Fires Have Done ]
[ Some People Were Unable To Pack Anything Of Value ]
[ Because They Only Had Enough Time To Run ]
[ Where Can They Go? ]
[ Where Can They Stay? ]
[ It Is Impossible To Really Know ]
[ Information That They Have Needed Like Yesterday ]
[ Nature Doing This, Is Terrible ]
[ Criminals Coming In ]
[ Is Horrible ]
[ How Many Of Satan’s Spawn ]
[ Have The Blackest Of Souls ]
[ To Go Out To The Burned Areas Between Dusk & Dawn ]
[ & Steal The Valuables That Were Not Burned In The
Devastating Fires? ]
[ When Or If They Are Caught ]
[ They Turn Into The Biggest Liars ]
[ Who Would Break Into The Cars & Trunks & Take Someone’s
Sole Possession? ]
[ Adding On To The Whole Devastation ]
[ How Can They Explain What Is In The Trunk Of Their Cars? ]
[ How Many Transactions Will Happen ]
[ In The Backrooms Of Some Of The Shady Bars? ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(1273)▪︎[ Which Direction? … 10•28•2019 ]
[ When You Go Outside During The Nights ]
[ Don’t Look Down @ The Ground ]
[ Look Out Over The Lights ]
[ Not The Lights Coming From The Cars ]
[ Look @ The Light Coming From The Stars ]
[ The Stars That Are Way Up High ]
[ When You Live In The Country ]
[ The Stars Seem To Cover The Sky ]
[ You Can Be Short Or Tall ]
[ When You Look Up @ The Sky You Feel So Very Small ]
[ You Can Stand In A Field Of Flowers ]
[ & Feel Weak ]
[ From The Loss Of Your Powers ]
[ & That Took Minutes Not Hours ]
[ Where Do You Go From This Point Of Your Life? ]
[ Do You Have To Walk Towards The Light? ]
[ From All That I Know ]
[ You Don’t Have To Go ]
[ & When You Say [ NO ] ]
[ That Frees You Up For Other Things ]
[ Like Going Oversea & Meet Some Actual Queens & Kings ]
[ Leaving The Country Is Not Always The Best ]
[ The Stress ]
[ Can Press ]
[ On Your Chest ]
[ Can You Forge Ahead Not Really Knowing To Go Which Direction ]
[ When You Make A Decision ]
[ Can You Make Any Corrections? ]
[ Or Can You Get By ]
[ Making Decisions On The Fly? ]
[ What If You Are Wrong? ]
[ & Then Find Out Your Window Is Gone? ]
[ Maybe The Best Thing To Do Would Be To Look Within? ]
[ You Might Find The Strength To Once Again, Begin ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(1263)▪︎[ What Injury? … 10•24•2019 ]
[ The Voices Are Always Loud When I’m All Alone ]
[ It Turns Me Cold ]
[ All Of The Way To My Bones ]
[ Do The Voices Always Have The Same Message? ]
[ From The Same Passage? ]
[ Can It Be Passive ]
[ When The Content Was Massive ]
[ Massive Compared To What? ]
[ Do I Always Bleed When I Am Cut? ]
[ But, But, But ]
[ You’re Losing Me With All Of The Impurity ]
[ You’ve Lost Me Because You Caused Me Injury ]
[ & If You Don’t Tell The Whole Truth ]
[ You’ll Be Guilty Of Perjury ]
[ In Front Of Your Peers In The Jury ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(1221)▪︎[ Don’t See The Light … 10•9•2019 ]
[ Now’s The Dark Days Of Your Life ]
[ Because You Can No Longer See The Light ]
[ Now The Mornings ]
[ Are As Dark As The Night ]
[ How Did Such A Horrible Thing Happen To Where
You No Longer Have The Ability ]
[ To See? ]
[ You Feel That You Are Locked Down In A Jail That’s Completely
Dark ]
[ You’re No Longer In Drive ]
[ & Because You Are In Park ]
[ You No Longer Thrive ]
[ Where Are You Going? ]
[ How Do You Get There ]
[ People Are Knowing ]
[ But Most Don’t Show They Care ]
[ People That You Know & Love Are So Apathetic ]
[ & Right Before Your Darkened Eyes ]
[ Looked So Pathetic ]
[ You Are Not Looking For Pity, By Any Means ]
[ But No One Has Any Empathy It Seems ]
[ When You Lay Awake In The Middle Of The Night On Your Bed ]
[ You Dream That You See Daylight In Your Head ]
[ Then The Old Memories Of Sight Come Flooding In ]
[ That Makes These Days ]
[ The Darkest They’ve Ever Been ]
[ When Will You Come Out Of This Living Dream? ]
[ When Will You Stop Hearing Yourself Scream? ]
[ What Are You Screaming For? ]
[ You Hear A Knock ]
[ Now You Wonder Who Is On The Other Side Of That Door ]
[ Maybe It’s Death ]
[ So You Won’t Suffer Anymore ]
[ Do You Open It Or Keep It Closed? ]
[ After You Woke From This Nightmare ]
[ Did You Ever Wonder What You Chose? ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(1234)▪︎[ How It All Happened … 10•12•2019 ]
[ We Met One Day, Downstairs In A Breakroom ]
[ After That Casual Meeting ]
[ I Didn’t Know That A Year & A Half Later I’d Be Your Groom ]
[ All Of This After I Asked You If You Wanted To
Rent The Other Room ]
[ It Seems Like We Were Meant To Be Husband & Wife ]
[ The Third Degree Of Separation ]
[ Happened Very Early In My Life ]
[ It Was Like The Turning Of The Clock ]
[ When My Father’s Mother ]
[ Lived Near Your Family Almost On The Same Block ]
[ Then I Was Asked What Your Last Name Was ]
[ Why Did She Want To Know? ]
[ Oh, Just Because? ]
[ When I Said The Name I Gave Your Mother’s Maiden Name ]
[ I Don’t Know Why I Said It ]
[ Because It Wasn’t Even Close To Being The Same ]
[ It Turned Out That Your Mother & My Step-Mother
Went To School Together When They Were Young ]
[ It’s Not Like The Ladder Was Sturdy ]
[ When I Climbed It Rung By Rung ]
[ I Loved Everything About You When We Talked Late Into
The Night ]
[ But There Was No Spark ]
[ Until … ]
[ One Day I Woke-Up & Saw You Under A Different Light ]
[ Right Away We Knew We Were Meant For Each Other ]
[ I’ve Had Plenty Of Dates With Other Women In The Past ]
[ After That Awakening Day, I Never Wanted Another ]
[ I Knew I Wanted To Marry You As Soon As Possible ]
[ But Getting You A Good Ring ]
[ Was Far From Probable ]
[ Then I Went To Alaska For The Wedding Of A Friend From
My College Years ]
[ When I Was Up There I Talked About You So Much ]
[ I Possibly Hurt Their Ears ]
[ From That Conversation a Diamond Wedding Ring Set Fell
Into My Lap ]
[ I Told Her That There Will A Gap ]
[ Between Now & When It Would Be Paid ]
[ I Thought The Woman Was So Excited ]
[ I Could Have Got Laid ]
[ I Went & Got On The Plane With The Ring Set ]
[ Stuffed In A Box ]
[ & Then Into My Pocket ]
[ I Had To Wait A Few Months Before I Could Propose ]
[ December 25th, 1994 Was The Date That I Chose ]
[ @ First Her Mom Sent Her Off To Another Room With
A Task ]
[ When She Came Back ]
[ I Knelt Down In Front Of Her & Said That I had Something
That I Wanted To Ask ]
[ As I Contemplated Where To Sit ]
[ I Looked Her In The Eyes & Asked … (WHAT TIME IS IT?) ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(1183)▪︎[ A, B & C … 9•27•2019 ]
[ Learning To Think About Your Thinking ]
[ May Cause Some People To Start Drinking ]
[ If You Start To Think About Your Emotions ]
[ Will That Cause A Commotion? ]
[ The [ A ] Is The Event Or Antecedent ]
[ Is This Something For Which You Get Bent ]
[ The [ B ] Is The Belief Or The Bullshit You Tell Yourself ]
[ Is That Like The Tightening Of The Belt? ]
[ Which Can Cause Welts ]
[ The Emotion Does Not Come From The Event, But From
The Belief ]
[ If You Think About That ]
[ It Should Be A Big Relief ]
[ The [ C ] Is The Consequence Of The Belief For Some ]
[ Because People Can Believe One Way ]
[ & That Makes Them Look Dumb ]
[ & For That Minute, Hour Or Day ]
[ Wish That They Had Not Come ]
[ Sometimes People Need A Brain Check ]
[ Because Oftentimes In Their Mind ]
[ They Are A Train Wreck ]
[ Why Are You Getting Upset @ Someone That Is Not Even There ]
[ Because Wherever That Person Is ]
[ Do They Really Care? ]
[ Did They Actually Do Or Say What You Think They Did? ]
[ & Then Ran & Hid? ]
[ Is This Something Worthy Of Flipping Your Lid? ]
[ Does This Help You Get What You Really Want? ]
[ Or Are These Words Just A Taunt? ]
[ How Does One Work Towards What The Want In Life? ]
[ Do They First Must Have Harmony & Peace ]
[ Between You & The Wife? ]
[ For Those Who Think That They Can Have Complete Harmony &
Peace With Others ]
[ Should Go Back To Bed & Get Under The Covers ]
[ For What They’re Having Is But A Dream ]
[ & They Can Also Figure Out What’s Their Favorite Ice Cream ]
[ Or So It Seems ]
[ The Worst Thing That Can Be True About Anything, Is That It
Is Just True ]
[ Then YOU Have To Figure Out What To Do ]
[ Based On Your Values ]
[ & What Skills You Might Have @ That Time ]
[ Are Your Skills Worth A Penny Or A Dime? ]
[ Do You Need To Build New Skills? ]
[ & You’ll Find ]
[ That Change Does Not Always Kill ]
[ So In Your Mind ]
[ Does It Change The Story About Jack & Jill? ]
[ Was Jill Being Kind ]
[ When She Pushed Jack Down The Hill? ]
[ Or Maybe Jack Only Thought That Jill Was The Cause Of His
Trip & Fall ]
[ He’ll Let Someone Else Figure It Out ]
[ Once He Gives His Attorney A Call ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(1182)▪︎[ Why, Did I? … 9•26•2019 ]
[ Why, Oh Why, Do I Put Myself Into Such A Predicament? ]
[ It’s Almost Like I Always Need To Go Through An Incident ]
[ Before I Get My Point Across ]
[ & Then Everyone Is @ A Loss ]
[ Of Words To Say ]
[ That Even Goes For The Day After Today ]
[ Such As Tommorow ]
[ From Which We Borrow ]
[ The Energy To Survive ]
[ & Have Enough To Drive ]
[ This Car ]
[ But We Become Slack ]
[ When It Comes To Paying Tommorow Back ]
[ If You Borrow From Tomorrow’s Life Source ]
[ It’s Imperative That You Pay It Back Of Course ]
[ You Don’t Want Tomorrow To Be Empty & Hanging By
A Thread ]
[ That Is One Thought That I Dread ]
[ It Would Have Me Seeing Red ]
[ When The Next Day I See Myself On Death’s Bed ]
[ So I’ve Been Taught ]
[ To Not ]
[ Get Placed In That Hot ]
[ Of A Spot ]
[ & Instead Find A Nice, Cool Spot ]
[ Not One That Is Burning Hot ]
[ Where Does One Stand? ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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(1235)▪︎[ This Is A Recording … 10•13•2019 ]
[ I Remember Putting On A Brave Face ]
[ To Hide The Symptoms Of Depression ]
[ I Always Felt Like A Disgrace ]
[ Because I Needed to Make A Confession ]
[ Whenever Someone Would Ask ]
[ [ HOW ARE THINGS? ] ]
[ I Wanted To Take Off My Mask ]
[ & Tell Them About The Guilt That Depression Brings ]
[ I Could Never Get Away From The Guilt Because It Was
Always On My Mind ]
[ Add My PTSD To The Mix ]
[ & It Seemed Like I Was Always On Rewind ]
[ PTSD Affects Me In Many Different Ways ]
[ & It Can Affect Me For Many Consecutive Days ]
[ Day In & Day Out ]
[ There Were Days Where All I Wanted To Do Was Shout ]
[ Because I Was Having Nightmares About Subjects That
I Knew Nothing About ]
[ Later In The Day The Subject Would Become Clear ]
[ I Was Having Nightmares About Things That I Fear ]
[ Can You Hear That? ]
[ I Can ]
[ I Just Don’t Know Where I’m @ ]
[ As A Man ]
[ Oh, I’ve Been Sitting Here All Of The Time ]
[ Having Flashbacks ]
[ In Between Writing Rhymes ]
[ What’s The Subject For The Day? ]
[ Even In My Confusion ]
[ My Thoughts Can Still Stay ]
[ But I Didn’t Want Or Need Them All ]
[ When One Wouldn’t Go Away ]
[ It Drove Me Up The Wall ]
[ How Do I Keep My Modesty & Sanity? ]
[ In A World Filled With ]
[ Insanity & Vanity? ]
[ That’s One Reason That I Try To Keep My Thoughts Wrapped
Up Nice & Tight ]
[ Because Sometimes When I Try To Verbalize Them ]
[ Things Don’t Quite ]
[ Sound Right ]
[ But Most Of The Time I Stay In My Head ]
[ So My Expressionless Face Can’t Be Read ]
[ But Then Complimentary Words Would Go Unsaid ]
[ Often My Home Was My De-Compression Zone ]
[ A Better Place ]
[ Was Never Known ]
[ I Had To Find Another Place Where I Felt As Safe As Before ]
[ Would I Ever Be Able To Find That Door? ]
[ Where It Was Safe To Walk On It’s Floor? ]
[ Now I Know A Place Where I Can Take My Thoughts & Park ]
[ It’s When I Go To Sleep In The Dark ]
[ When I Open My Eyes I’d Hear This Song ]
[ That Usually Told Me When Something Was Wrong ]
[ I’d Tell Myself (BE STRONG, BE STRONG) ]
[ Even When I Did Not Quite Know What Was Going On ]
[ When I Could Clearly See ]
[ I’d Find That There Is Nobody In The Room ]
[ With Me ]
[ Then I’d Wonder (HOW COULD THIS BE?) ]
[ I Figured Out That It Was Another Flashback ]
[ Caused By My PTSD ]
[ How Can I Get Away From This Disorder ]
[ That Is Like A Recorder ]
[ (SHUT DOWN! SHUT DOWN!) ]
[ Is What I Tell Myself ]
[ It Never Works, I’ve Found ]
~ Ka hopena ~
[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
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Lopaka's Poetic Stories Blog 