(023)▪︎[ To Your Only Brother … 2024 ]

[ Dear Brother Brent ]

[ You Wish You Could Have Been With Him The Night That He Went ]
[ Maybe You Could Have Camped Outside Of Their Apartment ]
[ In A Tent ]

[ Into His Deep ]
[ Restful Sleep ]

[ Hardly A Day Goes By ]
[ When He Is Not Close To Your Thoughts ]
[ Making You Want To Break Down & Have Yet ANOTHER Good Cry ]

[ What Good Would That Do You? ]
[ Nothing Good Comes From One Though ]
[ How Would You Know When You Are Through? ]

[ When His Death Happened, One Cry Lead In To The Next ]
[ What You Would Have Given ]
[ To Receive Just One More Text ]

[ Or Phone Call ]
[ Where We Would Continuously Tease Each Other ]
[ Because Neither One Of You Is Remotely Considered To Be Tall ]

[ It Was All Good & Fun ]
[ When You Would Call Yourself ]
[ The Taller & Better Looking One ]

[ You Wish That The Last Text Messages Were More Positive Than They Were ]
[ In A Way ]
[ His Responses Left You Feeling Hurt ]

[ You Never Should Have Expected Him To Be Serious ]
[ But You Were More Than Just A Bit Curious ]

[ You Never Thought That Those Would Be The Last Ones That You Would Get ]
[ If You Did, You Wouldn’t Have Text About A Topic That You Have Come To Regret ]

[ Will You Ever Forgive Yourself? ]
[ Does Forgiveness Have To Come From Somewhere Else? ]

[ From Outside Of Your Own Mind? ]
[ Will It Come From Being On The Path To Going Dakine? ]
[ What Could You Be Looking For To Find? ]
[ Will Things Ever Be Fine? ]

[ Again? ]

[ Probably Not ]

|| The End ||

Mahalo
~LopakaDeVoe~

[ 383 ]▪︎[ Sorry … 4•17•2020 ]

[ I’m Sorry, Mom & Dad ]
[ About The News ]
[ That Made You, Sad ]

[ I Have To Make This So Clear ]
[ That You Can Always Shed A Tear ]
[ From There To Here ]

[ Good Friends Will Always See ]
[ That Friendship ]
[ Is The Way That Things Will Forever Be ]

[ You Will Never Be Far Apart ]
[ Because He Is Forever ]
[ In Your Memories & Heart ]

[ Surround Your Friend With The Love & Care ]
[ That She Needs ]
[ & Be Able To Share ]
[ Your Necklace Of Beads ]

[ Maybe I Didn’t Get That One Correct ]
[ Well, Since I’m Not Catholic ]
[ What Did You Expect? ]

[ Today & Tommorow ]
[ Will Be Filled With Sadness & Sorrow ]

[ I Believe Your Faith Does Say ]
[ That Now He’ll Walk With God ]
[ For Forever & A Day ]

[ It’s Hard To Realize That You Can’t Get Any Hugs From Any
Other Family Members ]
[ I Hope We Can Give You One In September Or November ]

[ I’m Sure Glad That It Wasn’t Either One Of You ]
[ Life Would Never Be The Same ]
[ If We Couldn’t Show How Much We Love You Two ]

[ I’m Going To Make This The End ]
[ I Send My Empathy To You Both ]
[ Because Of The Passing Of Your Close Friend ]

[ Much Love From Us To You, Mom & Dad ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ] [🤙]

||•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•||

(1021)▪︎[ What Is A Loss? … 12•5•2021 ]

[ How Much Is Enough? ]
[ How You Keep Going, Has Got To Be Tough ]

[ When You Have A Loss, You Mourn ]
[ Your Life’s Clock Is Ticking Right When You Are Born ]

[ This Is Inevitable, You Have To Remember ]
[ You Will Forever Have This Bad Memory Of This December ]

[ You Will Write A Story, Then Whatever Thoughts Are Next ]
[ There Will Come A Day Soon, When You Won’t Get Another One
Of Her Texts ]

[ When She Would Come To See You, She Was Always A Breath
Of Fresh Air ]
[ All That She Wanted For You Was Love & Care ]

[ She Did Not Play With Your Heart Or Your Emotions ]
[ All That She Gave Was Love & Devotion ]

[ You Filled A Big Void In Her Life ]
[ She Was Never, Ever A Threat To Your Wife ]

[ & What Does She Do? ]
[ She Loves Your Wife, Too ]

[ It Was Always A Good Bet ]
[ That Your Best Friend, Was Never A Threat ]

[ When Will It Be Enough, To Humble You? ]
[ You Have No Clue ]

[ You Thought That You Were Humbled Years Ago ]
[ Ever Since Then You Just Tried To Go With The Flow ]

[ You Were Never A Leader ]
[ & You Were Never A Defeater ]

[ Someone That Goes Around Making Others Feel Defeated ]
[ That’s Never Needed ]

[ Nobody Needs A Reminder Of A Loss ]
[ That Is Someone That You Would Never Want To Come Across ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

||•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•||

(1011)▪︎[ Thank You, Best Friend … 12•2•2021 ]

[ You Are About To Lose Your Best Friend & You Do Not
     Know What To Do ]
[ Time Won’t Stand Still For You ]

[ Even Though You Wish Upon Wishes That Time Would Not
     Fly By ]
[ You Know That It Will ]
[ & You Won’t Have The Ability To Ask Why ]

[ Father Time Will Not Halt A Tic Tok For Anyone ]
[ Because Watching The Seconds Fly By Is Not Very Fun ]

[ You Could Be In Denial ]
[ For Awhile ]

[ You Could Sit Down & Take The Battery Out Of A Clock ]
[ Then Actually Feel Like You Put A Halt ]
[ To Your Life’s Real Tik Tok ]

[ That Would Be Denial In The 4th Degree ]
[ How Would That Feel ]
[ Do You Feel Free? ]

[ Your Best Friend’s Body Has Been Taken Over By Cancer ]
[ Some People Say That Everything Happens For A Reason ]
[ Okay, What Is The Reason, When Can I Hear That Answer? ]

[ This Will Leave Such A Void ]
[ In Your Life ]
[ This Is Something That You Wish You Could Avoid ]

[ No One Will Take Your Best Friend’s Place ]
[ That Choice Would Never Be Made In Haste ]

[ No One Will Ever ]
[ You Can Only Wish That Your Memories Could Last Forever ]

[ You Don’t Have A Negative Memory With Your Friend ]
[ There Is Not A Single Event To Defend ]

[ The Sun Setting @ The Beach Will Always Be A Special Memory ]
[ We Did That Twice ]
[ We Were Never In A Hurry ]

[ Time Did Not Matter On Those Days ]
[ We Liked To Sit & Watch The Waves ]

[ That Was When Time Slowed Down ]
[ & The Sun Was All Around ]

[ The Air Felt Warm With Barely A Breeze ]
[ & We Did What We Pleased ]

[ Great Memories In Your Memory Bank ]
[ & You Have Your Best Friend To Thank ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

||•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•||

(875)▪︎[ It Does Not Make Sense … 10•16•2021 ]

[ Grief & Questions Ran Through Your Head ]
[ You Could Not Believe That Your Brother Was Dead ]

[ You Thought, Just Last Week You & Brent Were Talking On The
     Phone ]
[ There Were No Abnormalities Concerning His Health That
     Were Known ]

[ The Dr’s. Did Not Know, Either ]
[ His Daughter Did Not Know, Neither ]

[ It Seemed Like It Was A Horrible Fluke ]
[ His Health Should Had Jinked ]
[ When Instead It Juked ]

[ He Stopped Breathing Because Of The Position He Was In ]
[ His Airway Was Obstructed ]
[ So He Could Not Catch His Wind ]

[ It Sure Took Some Big Balls ]
[ For His Daughter To Make The Calls ]

[ To Her Mom & You ]
[ Nobody Wanted To Be In Her Shoes ]

[ You Didn’t Go Into Denial When You Got Her Call ]
[ But You Did Want To Hit A Wall ]

[ Through Past Experience You Knew Better Than To Do That ]
[ Your Dreams Of The (2) Of You Growing Old Together, Now
     Went Splat! ]

[ Onto The Floor ]
[ So You Cannot Dream That Dream Anymore ]

[ He Really Was Not Taking Care Of His Body As Of Late ]
[ What He Drank ]
[ What He Ate ]
[ Just Was Not All That Great ]

[ Your Brother Always Thought That It Was Best ]
[ To Live His Life With Zest ]
[ Maybe He Thought ]
[ That Kind Of Life Would Put Hair On His Chest ]

[ But It Wouldn’t ]
[ Because It Couldn’t ]

[ Why Didn’t He Take Care Of Himself Better In Those Last Years? ]
[ So Now Your Dreams Are Reduced To Tears ]

[ You Used To Joke About Getting Kicked Out Of Places ]
[ Because You Guys Wouldn’t Stop Putting On Wheelchair
     Races ]

[ You Used To Tease Him, But Not The Mean Kind ]
[ That You Always Beat Him In Your Mind ]

[ You Thought That You Will Really Miss Those Calls That
     You (2) Had ]
[ Nothing That Was Said, Was Ever Bad ]
[ Everytime You Had To Hang-Up The Phone ]
[ You Got Sad ]

[ Now Who Is Going To Call You To Make You Laugh & Laugh
     For Over An Hour? ]
[ You Found That Your Brother Had That Innate Power ]

[ Nothing You Said To Each Other Made Sense ]
[ He Sure Had The Knack Of Helping You Unwind When He Called
     To See That Things Were Tense ]

[ The (MOURNING PERIOD) That People Have Always Talked
     About Were Incorrect When It Came To You ]
[ Most Of The Levels Of Grief You Breezed Right Through ]

[ Grief Never Got You All Riled ]
[ Most Of The Time ]
[ Because You Never Went Through A Mountain Of Denial ]
[ That You Couldn’t Climb ]

[ When His Daughter Called To Let You Know That Your Brother
     Had Died ]
[ You Never Argued With Her & Thought That She Had Lied ]

[ You Did Have Times When You Shed Your Share Of Tears ]
[ But You Never Drowned Your Sorrows ]
[ In Shots Of Tequila & Beers ]

[ Since He Died In February ]
[ A Trip To Las Vegas In March ]
[ Was Not Necessary ]

[ You Struggle To Make Sense Of The Senseless ]
[ Because How Did He Get Into This Mess? ]

[ Now That He Is Gone ]
[ Everyone Has Had To Move On ]

[ Your Brother May Not Have Lived The Cleanest Life ]
[ But You Are So Glad That He Separated From His Horrible,
     Greedy & Mean Wife ]

[ You Miss Your Brother @ Times ]
[ That Is Why You Had To Write This Rhyme ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

||•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•||

(801)▪︎[ To My Friend … 9•22•2021 ]

[ Saying (I AM SORRY) Just Doesn’t Cover It ]
[ Not Even A Little Bit ]

[ The Sorrow Cannot Be Measured ]
[ But The Memories Are Really Treasured ]

[ You Might Feel Like Your Life Is Tumbling Out Of
Control ]
[ What Can Fill The Hole ]

[ You Have In Your Heart? ]
[ You Ask (WHEN CAN THAT START?) ]

[ Gather Your Friends & Family, Then Hug Them Tight ]
[ Please Remember The Friends That Are Not Always In
Your Sight ]

[ Do Not Fight What You Feel ]
[ Because Mourning Is Real ]

[ & Oh Yea ]
[ I Have To Give A Shout Out To Where & When Our Friendship
Started ]
[ The Year Was (1998) & The Unit Was Omega ]

[ I Did A (2) Term, (12) Weeks Practicum ]
[ For College ]
[ & The 1st Week I Felt So Dumb ]

[ The 1st Day I Was There, I Knew You Were The Alpha Dog ]
[ The Way That You Dealt With The Kids ]
[ & By What & How You Wrote In The Log ]

[ You Took Me Under Your Wing & Taught Me The Ways ]
[ You Showed Me How To Work The Nights ]
[ & Then The Days ]

[ You & Carla Were The Main Reasons That I ONLY Interviewed
For That Unit ]
[ I Couldn’t See That The Others Would Be A Good Fit ]

[ I Always Knew That You Had Higher Aspirations ]
[ That Was One Of The Reasons That You Were Such An
Inspiration ]

[ Then It All Crumbled ]
[ But You Wouldn’t Let Me Stumble ]

[ You Were The ONLY ONE That Stuck By Me When The Shit Hit
The Fan ]
[ You Sent Me Short, Uplifting Texts With (4) Words ]
[(HANG IN THERE, MAN!) ]

[ I Have Admired You Since That 1st Day On The Floor ]
[ Please Know That You Will Always Be Welcomed @ My
Door ]

[ We May Not Be Good @ Keeping In Touch ]
[ Much ]

[ I Still Love You Even Though You Root For The Las Vegas
Raiders ]
[ Since They Left California, Are They Now Called The
(TRAIDERS?) ]

[ I Miss The Short Text (HEY BUDDY) From You Come
Across My Screen ]
[ Those Are (2) Words That Would Stop My Daily Routine ]

[ When Things Get Rough ]
[ Remember The Friends That Helped When Things Were
Tough ]

[(HANG IN THERE, MAN!) ]

[ Much Respect & Love ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

||•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•||

(229)▪︎[ What Kind Of Pain? … 3•6•2020 ]

[ Emotional Pain Is Inward Which Makes Us Avoid Ourselves ]
[ Because We Know Of Nothing Else ]

[ It’s Like Not Using A Belt ]
[ So Your Pants Don’t Fall Down ]
[ You Wouldn’t Know How Others Felt ]
[ When You Looked Like A Clown ]

[ The Cause & Effect Of Brent’s Death Is Another Reason
& Example To Not Take Another Drink ]
[ Stop & Think ]
[ Would This Push Me To The Brink? ]

[ Of What? ]
[ A Punch In The Gut? ]
[ An Undercut? ]
[ But, But, But ]

[ How Would I Know That Would Not Be The Time That I Would
Get Addicted? ]
[ Can That Be Predicted? ]
[ While You Are Convicted? ]

[ The Answer Would Be ( NO! ) ]
[ ( I WOULD NOT KNOW ) ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(172)▪︎[ Hurting … 2•22•2020 ]

[ I Hurt So Much Right Now ]
[ I Am Supposed To Pull It Together ]
[ But I Don’t Know How ]

[ I Lost My Younger Brother Brent A Couple Of Nights
Ago ]
[ He Passed As He Slept ]
[ & Now I Don’t Know ]
[ How Long I’ve Wept ]

[ He Was The Last Member Of My Family In My Mind ]
[ Oh If I Could Only Pound On The Button That Says
( REWIND! ) ]

[ I Don’t Know How Far Back In Years I Would Go ]
[ Then I’d Hit ( PLAY ) ]
[ & Take It Really Slow ]

[ You See, We Were Separated About When He Was One &
I Was Two ]
[ I Knew I Had A Brother Out There ]
[ Somewhere ]
[ But I Had No Clue ]
[ I Grew Up Not Asking Questions ]
[ Because It Seemed Like Nobody Cared ]
[ Or Nobody Knew ]

[ It Wasn’t Until After We Were Married & My Wife Asked ]
[ ( WOULD YOU MIND IF I LOOKED FOR YOUR BROTHER? ) ]
[ I Told Her That She Could Take On That Task ]
[ But I Don’t Want To Know A Thing About Our Mother ]

[ She Tracked Down The Police Report For When My Dad
Shot Himself In The Head ]
[ Seeing This Report Was Something That I Grew Up To Dread ]

[ The Report Sent Her In The Direction That Would Make
Her Rave & Rant ]
[ Because It Said That The Names Of His Children Was Bobby,
Robin & Brant ]

[ That Made The Direction Of The Hunt Juke ]
[ Instead Of Jive ]
[ It Seems That When Our Dad Got Depressed He Never Told The Truth ]
[ About His Intentions To Die ]

[ The Information That She Found Blew My Mind To Pieces ]
[ She Even Found Names Of Possible Nephews & Nieces ]

[ So He Said He Couldn’t Help Us Know A Man With Brant For
His Name ]
[ But He Stated That He Has An Uncle ( BRENT ) Who Sounded
The Same ]

[ He Told My Wife He Had His Number & North
Carolina Was Where He
Lived ]
[ He Had His Uncle’s Number & Then Said ( THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO GIVE ) ]

[ The Next Night I Sat Down & Picked Up The Phone ]
[ I Thought ( THIS IS LIKE WALKING INTO THE UNKNOWN ) ]

[ A Man’s Voice Came On & Sounded Kind Of Gruff ]
[ Asking Him About Five Questions Was Kind Of Rough ]

[ Then He Asked Two Questions That I Thought Was Strange
But Funny ]
[ ( WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME … DO YOU NEED A KIDNEY ) ]

[ That Was The Start Of What We Had ]
[ He Talked About The Kids Who Call Him Dad ]

[ Brent Was All Of The Family That I’ve Got ]
[ Now Death Has Taken Him ]
[ & All Of That Effort Was For Naught ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(173)▪︎[ You’re Gone Now … 2•23•2020 ]

[ Oh Brother Brent, Brother Brent ]
[ Now Who Am I Supposed To Call To Vent? ]

[ Besides My Son & My Wife ]
[ You Were One Of The Biggest, Most Important & Loved
Parts Of My Life ]
[ Now My Heart, Feels Like It’s Been Cut Out, With A Knife ]

[ Then One Night, When You Couldn’t Hang On ]
[ One Swipe Of Death’s Hand ]
[ & You Were Gone ]

[ Now I Sit & Wonder, About Where The Time Went ]
[ Who Is Responsible For The Bad Times That Were Sent? ]
[ It Wasn’t Superman ]
[ Or Clark Kent ]

[ What Ever Happened, I’ll Never Know ]
[ Why Did You, Have To Go? ]
[ I’ll Never Know ]
[ Why Do I Feel, So Low? ]
[ This, I Know ]

[ I Feel, For Your Family Members ]
[ They Will Always Have Memories Of You, That They Will
Remember ]

[ I Know, That I Do ]
[ I Will Always Remember The Days, When We Came Out
To North Carolina ]
[ & Met You ]

[ I Had To Wait ]
[ All Of Those Years ]
[ Until 1998 ]

[ We Were Apart For Over 30 Years, But Not Of Our Doing ]
[ Growing Up Knowing You Were Out There, But We
Could Not Meet ]
[ Was Quite Grueling ]

[ I Remember What You Asked When I First Called You In N.C. ]
[ ( WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME? ) ]
[ ( DO YOU NEED A KIDNEY? ) ]

[ I Thought That I Could Not Get That Comment From No Other ]
[ I Said To You ]
[ ( WELL, I AM CALLING YOU BECAUSE I THINK YOU ARE MY
BROTHER ) ]

[ I Didn’t Know What To Expect ]
[ But You Did Not Scoff & Show Disrespect ]

[ It Is Hard To Talk About You In The Past Tense ]
[ Especially When None Of This Makes Sense ]

[ We Hardly Scratched The Surface Of Brotherhood ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(154)▪︎[ Give Myself A Talk … 2•17•2020 ]

[ I Tell You This ]
[ I’ll Tell You No Lie ]
[ That When Death Gave You It’s Kiss ]
[ I Had To Try ]
[ To Keep A Dry ]
[ Eye ]

[ You Were My Last String ]
[ Connecting Me To This Messed Up Family Thing ]
[ Now, Who Will Bring ]

[ Such Laughter ]
[ Only During Our Phone Calls ]
[ Not After ]

[ We’d Punch Each Other Silly With Our Put-Downs ]
[ We’d Take Turns Being The Clown ]
[ You Were Supposed To Take Me To Our Home Island ]
[ & Show Me The Town ]

[ All Of Our Dreams Of Growing Old Together ]
[ Has Changed As Fast As The Oregon Weather ]

[ All Because Of This I Ask ]
[ Why Did You Not Complete The Simple Task ]
[ Of Putting On Your Mask ]
[ During The Night After Last ]

[ Maybe You Are Now Sending Me A Message, In Your Own Way ]
[ If I Want To Wake To See Another Day ]

[ I Must Fight ]
[ To Make Things Right ]
[ By Making Sure That MY Mask Must Be On Tight ]
[ Night After Night ]

[ So Everytime I Balk ]
[ I Should Give Myself A Good Talk ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]