(308)▪︎[ P.T.S.D. Never Sets You Free … 2026 ]

[ Some Say That When You Have A Good Memory, You Should Enjoy What You’ve Got ]
[ Not ]
[ When P.T.S.D. Puts You On The Spot ]

[ One Different Thing About P.T.S.D. Is How It Makes You Feel ]
[ Because The Flashback’s Seem So Real ]

[ It Can Make You Ill ]
[ Like Unintentionally Rolling Down A Hill ]

[ It Is Not A Sneeze Or A Cough ]
[ That Makes You Feel So Off ]

[ All Of A Sudden Your Sub-Conscience ]
[ Is Playing With Your Brain While You Are Conscious ]

[ In The Day When You Have A Flashback It Feels Like A Really Bad Dream ]
[ The Only Thing That Wakes You Is The Sounds Of Your Own Scream ]

[ These Are Alot Worse Than Your Typical Nightmare ]
[ Nobody Else Cares ]
[ You Are The One Person Who Knows The “Who, What & Where?” ]

[ P.T.S.D. Is Not An Honor Club That You Want To Join ]
[ There Is Not A Single Moment During A Flashback That You Enjoy ]

[ P.T.S.D. Is Not Only From Being Involved In A Military War ]
[ It Can Happen To Anyone, From Shore To Shore ]
[ All It Takes Is Some Kind Involvement In An Incident That Rocked You To Your Core ]

[ Most People Have Never Understood ]
[ In A Small Kind Of Way, That Is Good ]

[ The Ones With P.T.S.D. Can Often Become ]
[ Numb ]
[ To It ]
[ That Doesn’t Make Them Dumb ]
[ About The Least Little Bit ]

[ A Flashback Can Hit You Out Of Nowhere ]
[ & Carry You Back To Somewhere ]
[ To A Place You Wished That You Were Never There ]

[ You Go Back To The Sights, Sounds & Sometimes Smell ]
[ You Know This Is Happening ]
[ When You Start To Not Feel Very Well ]

[ Then Your Mind Goes Off To The Races ]
[ All Of A Sudden You Remember How Many Paces ]
[ You Took ]
[ & All The Faces ]
[ Are As Clear As If You Were Picking Them Out Of A Yearbook ]
[ You Remember All The Shapes & Spaces ]
[ Because That Is Where Your Memory Is Forcing You To Look ]

[ You Are Unable To Look Away ]
[ Because P.T.S.D. Is All In The Mind ]
[ In The Weirdest Way ]
[ Your Memory Will Be Stuck On Rewind ]

[ Then Cognitive Dissonance Is What You Get ]
[ Because Since You Were Young ]
[ You Were Told To Not Forget ]
[ Whenever You Forgot It Really Stung ]

[ Everytime The Flashbacks Make You Cry ]
[ Forgetting Is What You Try ]
[ To Do ]
[ @ This Point & Time You Could Not Even Afford To Buy ]
[ A Clue ]

[ Sometimes P.T.S.D. Can Make You Suicidal ]
[ Or Even Homicidal ]
[ There Is Nothing About P.T.S.D. That’s Comical ]
[ Or Sets You Up To Become Somebody’s Idol ]

[ Some People Really Fall ]
[ & Fail ]
[ They Either Turn To Pills Or Alcohol ]
[ Then Do Something Stupid & Wind Up In Jail ]

[ Then You Feel Like You Are Holding The Dreaded Ace Of Spades ]
[ Because When Your Brain Is In The Clouds ]
[ & You Get Overcome With This Haze ]
[ All You Wish For Is That These Memories Will Fade ]
[ But You Have Come To Know That P.T.S.D. Is Not Just A Faze ]

~ Ka hopena ~

Mahalo nui loa
A hui hou kaua e kuu hoa

Na,
Lopaka DeVoe

~ Aloha ~

▪︎ •• •• ▪︎

[ 253 ][ They Are Unable To Dream … 3•28•2021 ]

[ Some People Say That Kids In Foster Care Do Not Dream ]
[ They Feel Insecure Of Their Future It Seems ]

[ Never Knowing ]
[ When To Pack Up Their Belongings ]
[ Or Where They Will Be Going ]

[ Could It Be To A Farm In The Country? ]
[ Or An Apartment In The City? ]

[ Their Whole Life Up To That Point Had Been One Of
     Transition ]
[ For A Scared Young Child ]
[ That Puts Them In An Unstable Position ]

[ These Children Do Not Dream Because They Do Not
     Know What They Could Dream Of ]
[ A Welcoming Home? ]
[ A New Family Full Of Love? ]

[ How Can A Child Dream Of Something That They Don’t
      Have Any Experience In? ]
[ When They Try To Succeed In Life, They Never Win ]

[ Kids Go Into Their Next Placement Totally Blind ]
[ How Do Others Think How That Affects Their Young
       Minds? ]

[ There Eyes & Minds Are Blurry ]
[ Their Whole Life Seems To Be In A Hurry ]

[ But It Is Not ]
[ & Their Personal Belongings That They’ve Got ]
[ Is Never Alot ]

[ Night Or Day ]
[ They Never Have A Say ]

[ Kids Have Zero Control ]
[ They Do Not See Their Role ]

[ Or Where They Fit ]
[ They Get Whatever They Get ]

[ & If They Go To A House Where A Family Already Exists ]
[ They Do Whatever The Parents Insists ]

[ What They Want Them To Do ]
[ Not Understanding Any Social Cues ]

[ Kids Can Be The Victims Of A Broken System ]
[ The One Thing That Is Supposed To Help Them ]

[ Kids Are Put In The System Not Of Their Own Free
     Will ]
[ No One Leaves A Family For Excitement & Thrills ]

[ @ Any Age ]
[ Causing So Much Pain & Pent Up Rage ]

[ Kids In Foster Care Never Have An Outlet ]
[ For All Of The Frustration They Get ]

[ Kids Never Have A Solid Foot On The Ground ]
[ Because They Are Always Being Moved Around ]

[ The State ]
[ The Game Is One Big Wait ]

[ Waiting For The Next Knock On The Front Door ]
[ Not Knowing What Is In Store ]

[ Next ]
[ Not Being Told Through A Phone Call ]
[ Or Read To Them From A Text ]

[ Every New Family Is Like A Long Roll Of The Dice ]
[ Not Knowing If The Other Kids Will Be Mean Or Nice ]

[ Sometimes A Family Can Be Really Nice When You
     Are New ]
[ But Then Turn Into The Worst Ones, Too ]

[ Kids Have Very Little That They Own ]
[ & In New Placements Feel Completely Alone ]

[ In The Back Of Their Minds The Thought Is Always There ]
[ That @ Any Moment The Child Could Be Moved Elsewhere ]

[ Foster Kids Feel That They Have To Be On Their Best
      Behavior & Shouldn’t Do Anything Wrong ]
[ Since The Bond Is Not Strong ]

[ They Could Be Removed ]
[ Not Soothed ]

[ Children Have Dreams Of Possibilities That Could Occur ]
[ Children In Foster Care Are Never Sure ]
[ Of Their Future ]

~ The End ~

[ Auhea kuʻu hoaaloha ]
[ Ke manaʻoʻiʻo nei wau e pono ai e lawe i kēia moʻolelo
     i kahi hopena ]

[ Mahalo no ka hoʻoloheʻana i kaʻu mau moʻolelo ]
[ No laila,ʻoiaʻiʻo,ʻo ia ka mea ]

[ A hui hou aku ]
     ‎    ‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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