(732)▪︎[ The Rising Water … 8•29•2020 ]

[ How Do You Keep Your Head Above The Rising
Water? ]
[ When The Air Around You Keeps Getting Hotter? ]

[ You Want To Dip Your Head Under To Feel Cool ]
[ But The Water Seems To Be Getting So High ]
[ You Have To Stand Up On Your Tallest Stool ]

[ If You Hold Your Breath, You Think You’ll Be Fine ]
[ Life On One Side, Death On The Other ]
[ They Are Just Separated Down The Middle By A Thin Line ]

[ If You Lean To The Right Will You Have Regret ]
[ But When You Look Around ]
[ You Don’t See That Anyone Is Left ]

[ Right Or Wrong ]
[ Having Blind Faith In Others ]
[ Proved That The Bond Was Not Strong ]

[ Two Or Three Have Stayed ]
[ They Never Strayed ]

[ & That Is All That You Have To Say ]
[ About Any Of This ]
[ Right Now On This Day ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo E Ka hoa  ]
[  A hui hou  ]
[ Aloha  ]

[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe  ]

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(1009)▪︎[ What Is This Reason? … 11•30•2021 ]

[ Well That Was Something That You Never Expected ]
[ Was There A Sign That You Neglected? ]

[ Your Best Friend Just Talked To You On The Phone ]
[ & Told You Something That Was Previously Unknown ]

[ You Never Knew That Her Cancer Was That Bad ]
[ It Would Be A Huge Understatement To Say That You Were A
     Little Sad ]

[ A Little Bit? ]
[ Holy Shit! ]

[ It Was A Kick In The Butt ]
[ It Was Also A Punch To The Gut ]

[ You Don’t Want To Feel This Broken ]
[ You Don’t Want Your Best Friend Taken ]

[ She Is So Important In Your Life ]
[ The Most Important Person, Behind Your Wife ]

[ Your Best Friend Has The Biggest Balls Of Anyone That You
     Have Ever Met ]
[ She Has Taught You To How To Have Your Own Big Set ]

[ It Has Helped You & Your Marriage Tremendously ]
[ You Will Miss Her Tremendously ]

[ Your Love & Support For Her Is Off The Chart ]
[ Right Now You Have A Broken Heart ]

[ You Don’t Want Someone Coming Up To You & Tell You That
     Everything Happens For A Reason ]
[ Really? ]
[ WTF Is This Reason? ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo E Ka hoa  ]
[  A hui hou  ]
[ Aloha  ]

[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe  ]

||•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•||

(875)▪︎[ It Does Not Make Sense … 10•16•2021 ]

[ Grief & Questions Ran Through Your Head ]
[ You Could Not Believe That Your Brother Was Dead ]

[ You Thought, Just Last Week You & Brent Were Talking On The
     Phone ]
[ There Were No Abnormalities Concerning His Health That
     Were Known ]

[ The Dr’s. Did Not Know, Either ]
[ His Daughter Did Not Know, Neither ]

[ It Seemed Like It Was A Horrible Fluke ]
[ His Health Should Had Jinked ]
[ When Instead It Juked ]

[ He Stopped Breathing Because Of The Position He Was In ]
[ His Airway Was Obstructed ]
[ So He Could Not Catch His Wind ]

[ It Sure Took Some Big Balls ]
[ For His Daughter To Make The Calls ]

[ To Her Mom & You ]
[ Nobody Wanted To Be In Her Shoes ]

[ You Didn’t Go Into Denial When You Got Her Call ]
[ But You Did Want To Hit A Wall ]

[ Through Past Experience You Knew Better Than To Do That ]
[ Your Dreams Of The (2) Of You Growing Old Together, Now
     Went Splat! ]

[ Onto The Floor ]
[ So You Cannot Dream That Dream Anymore ]

[ He Really Was Not Taking Care Of His Body As Of Late ]
[ What He Drank ]
[ What He Ate ]
[ Just Was Not All That Great ]

[ Your Brother Always Thought That It Was Best ]
[ To Live His Life With Zest ]
[ Maybe He Thought ]
[ That Kind Of Life Would Put Hair On His Chest ]

[ But It Wouldn’t ]
[ Because It Couldn’t ]

[ Why Didn’t He Take Care Of Himself Better In Those Last Years? ]
[ So Now Your Dreams Are Reduced To Tears ]

[ You Used To Joke About Getting Kicked Out Of Places ]
[ Because You Guys Wouldn’t Stop Putting On Wheelchair
     Races ]


[ You Used To Tease Him, But Not The Mean Kind ]
[ That You Always Beat Him In Your Mind ]

[ You Thought That You Will Really Miss Those Calls That
     You (2) Had ]
[ Nothing That Was Said, Was Ever Bad ]
[ Everytime You Had To Hang-Up The Phone ]
[ You Got Sad ]

[ Now Who Is Going To Call You To Make You Laugh & Laugh
     For Over An Hour? ]
[ You Found That Your Brother Had That Innate Power ]

[ Nothing You Said To Each Other Made Sense ]
[ He Sure Had The Knack Of Helping You Unwind When He Called
     To See That Things Were Tense ]

[ The (MOURNING PERIOD) That People Have Always Talked
     About Were Incorrect When It Came To You ]
[ Most Of The Levels Of Grief You Breezed Right Through ]

[ Grief Never Got You All Riled ]
[ Most Of The Time ]
[ Because You Never Went Through A Mountain Of Denial ]
[ That You Couldn’t Climb ]

[ When His Daughter Called To Let You Know That Your Brother
     Had Died ]
[ You Never Argued With Her & Thought That She Had Lied ]

[ You Did Have Times When You Shed Your Share Of Tears ]
[ But You Never Drowned Your Sorrows ]
[ In Shots Of Tequila & Beers ]

[ Since He Died In February ]
[ A Trip To Las Vegas In March ]
[ Was Not Necessary ]

[ You Struggle To Make Sense Of The Senseless ]
[ Because How Did He Get Into This Mess? ]

[ Now That He Is Gone ]
[ Everyone Has Had To Move On ]

[ Your Brother May Not Have Lived The Cleanest Life ]
[ But You Are So Glad That He Separated From His Horrible,
     Greedy & Mean Wife ]

[ You Miss Your Brother @ Times ]
[ That Is Why You Had To Write This Rhyme ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo E Ka hoa  ]
[  A hui hou  ]
[ Aloha  ]

[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe  ]

||•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•||

(681)▪︎[ The Bad Years … 8•16•2021 ]

[ There Were Years When All You Wanted To Do Was Just
     Lay Down & Drift Off Into A Deep ]
[ Long Sleep ]

[ Could Anybody Take Your Pain Away? ]
[ Even For A Day? ]

[ If You Took All Of Those Pills, Would That Do The Trick? ]
[ You Had All Of Those Bottles From Which To Pick ]

[ Days Were Dark ]
[ You Had No Drive ]
[ You Felt Like You Were Stuck In Park ]
[ You Failed To Thrive ]

[ The Nights Were Even Darker ]
[ The Bad Images In Your Mind Were Always Larger ]

[ The Sounds Of That Person In Pain ]
[ You Heard Over & Over Again ]

[ Being Stuck In A (3) Hour Riot ]
[ Has Stolen All Of The Times When You Needed It To Be Quiet ]

[ There Was Nothing You Could Do ]
[ The Whole System Failed You ]

[ You Had To Listen To That Kid Getting Beat ]
[ All The While The Powers That Had Been There ]
[ Directed You To Take A Seat ]

[ This All Became Your PTSD In A Nutshell ]
[ So For So Many Years Your Memory Dragged You Through
     Hell ]

[ You Can’t Say (& BACK) Because Sometimes Your Memory
     Left You There ]
[ These Kinds Of Memories You NEVER Share ]
[ Unless You Wanted To Scare ]

[ Whoever You Were Talking To ]
[ Whenever You Were In A Flashback You Never Knew ]
[ What To Do ]

[ So Your Dark Days Extended To (21) Or (22) Hours Long ]
[ Everything In Your Head Was Wrong ]
[ You Stopped Feeling Strong ]

[ You Never Turned To Alcohol Or Any Illicit Drugs ]
[ You Never Turned Into A Thug ]

[ But You Did Turn Into Your Worst Enemy ]
[ You Could Not See ]
[ How Things Should Be ]
[ All Because Of Your PTSD ]

[ If Only You Could Go To Sleep For A Day Or Two ]
[ Would All Of These Sleeping Pills See You Through? ]

[ They Almost Did That ]
[ I Was @ The Count Of (2) On The Mat ]

[ But Then You Woke Up One Day ]
[ Then Decided That Wasn’t The Way ]

[ Everyday Since Then, You Walk The Fine ]
[ Imaginary Line ]

[ Do You Want To Go? ]
[ Or Do You Want To Stay? ]
[ Do You Always Know ]
[ That It Is Okay If You Are Not Feeling Okay? ]

[ You Say That Only The Wise ]
[ Recognize ]
[ The Prize ]

[ Through All The Angst & Strife ]
[ The Prize Is Living Your Life ]

[ The Best That You Possibly Can ]
[ & Try To Be Your Biggest Fan ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo  ]
[  A hui hou  ]
[ Aloha  ]

[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe  ]

||•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•▪︎•||

(497)▪︎[ Your Brother Is Gone … 6•16•2021 ]

[ As You Sit There Looking @ Your Brothers Tombstone ]
[ You Now Feel, All Alone ]

[ Some Say It Was A Senseless Death That Day ]
[ Is That Really What Some People Say? ]

[ I Am On The Fence ]
[ Is There A Way That your Brother Could Die That Would Make
     Sense? ]

[ You Hear Mumbles ]
[ & Grumbles ]

[ You’re Not So Dense ]
[ To Hear That ]
[ & It Not Make You Tense ]

[ This May Sound Dumb ]
[ But Death Took Away My Brother’s Freedom ]

[ He Can No Longer Come Over For A Visit ]
[ You Can’t Have The Option To Go Over To His House & Just
     Sit ]
[ For A Bit ]

[ Your Brother Is Pain Free Now ]
[ You Wish That You Could ]
[ But You Don’t Know How ]

[ How Do You Continue On ]
[ Now That Your Brother Is Gone? ]

[ Nobody Knows What Went Wrong ]
[ Was His Will To Live, Not Very Strong? ]

[ When His Path Was Shown ]
[ Was The Writing On The Wall Known? ]

[ The Grim Reaper Does Not Show Up @ Your Doorstep To
     Talk ]
[ They Show Up To Take You On That Long, Quiet Walk ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo iā ‘oe  ]
[  A hui hou mākou  ]
[  Aloha  ] ‎ 
  ‎
[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe ]

(105)▪︎[ Giving Up … 2•4•2020 ]

[ Right Now Some People Feel Like They’re In The Fight Of
Their Life ]
[ It’s Not Because Of A Stranger With A Knife ]

[ It’s From Fighting The Urge To Not Walk Towards The Bright ]
[ Shining Light ]

[ But It’s So Pretty ]
[ & The Warmth From The Beam ]
[ Feels Like A Soft Kitty ]

[ But What’s On The Other Side? ]
[ The Only Ones That Know ]
[ Have Gone Off & Died ]

[ Why Does Someone Walk Towards The Light When It’s Not
Their Time? ]
[ What If They’re In Their Prime? ]

[ & They Want To Just Call It Quits ]
[ Because @ This Point In Time, They Just Don’t Give A Shit ]

[ Where Did It All Go Wrong? ]
[ When Did They Stop Being Strong? ]

[ Maybe The Length ]
[ Of An Illness ]
[ Has Zapped Their Strength ]
[ & Willingness ]

[ To Go On ]
[ Their Drive Is Gone ]

[ But What About Those Left Behind? ]
[ Will Their Memories Help Remind? ]
[ Them ]
[ Of The Times They Went Out & Dined ]

[ A Picture Whispers A Thousand Words ]
[ When They Spoke ]
[ Were They Heard? ]

[ When They Were Young They Were Alert & Wired ]
[ Now That They Are Older ]
[ They Wake In The Morning Still Tired ]

[ Goodbye, Unyunghikaseyo, Adiōs, Au revoir, Sayōnara Is
What They Wrote ]
[ In Their Final Note ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo iā ‘oe  ]
[  A hui hou mākou  ]
[  Aloha  ] ‎ 
  ‎
[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe ]

(229)▪︎[ What Kind Of Pain? … 3•6•2020 ]

[ Emotional Pain Is Inward Which Makes Us Avoid Ourselves ]
[ Because We Know Of Nothing Else ]

[ It’s Like Not Using A Belt ]
[ So Your Pants Don’t Fall Down ]
[ You Wouldn’t Know How Others Felt ]
[ When You Looked Like A Clown ]

[ The Cause & Effect Of Brent’s Death Is Another Reason
& Example To Not Take Another Drink ]
[ Stop & Think ]
[ Would This Push Me To The Brink? ]

[ Of What? ]
[ A Punch In The Gut? ]
[ An Undercut? ]
[ But, But, But ]

[ How Would I Know That Would Not Be The Time That I Would
Get Addicted? ]
[ Can That Be Predicted? ]
[ While You Are Convicted? ]

[ The Answer Would Be ( NO! ) ]
[ ( I WOULD NOT KNOW ) ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo iā ‘oe  ]
[  A hui hou mākou  ]
[  Aloha  ] ‎ 
  ‎
[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe ]



(200)▪︎[ Grieving & Leaving … 3•1•2020 ]

A[ This Grieving Stuff Is For The Birds ]
[ My Thoughts Are All Consuming ]
[ But I Can’t Put All Of Them Into Words ]

[ Is There A Special Way To Grieve ]
[ Without Making Your Sanity Leave? ]

[ Like The Falling Leaf ]
[ Can It Be Brief? ]

[ Nothing About Grieving Makes Sense ]
[ It’s As Predictable As Getting A Smile ]
[ On The Face Of Vice-President Pence ]

[ Make Your Life ]
[ Like ]
[ Dice ]
[ Throw Them Against The Wall, Twice ]

[ That’s Like My Thoughts Being Rearranged ]
[ Sometimes They Seem Caged ]

[ All Pent Up In A Little Box ]
[ Who Has The Key, Goldilocks? ]

[ I Wish These Thoughts Of Mine ]
[ Would Fall Into Line ]
[ With Nine Rows Of Nine ]
[ Then They’d Take Me Dakine ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo iā ‘oe  ]
[  A hui hou mākou  ]
[  Aloha  ] ‎ 
  ‎
[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe ]

(565)▪︎[ No More Pain … 7•9•2021 ]

[ Suicide Is Very Prevalent, In Today’s Society ]
[ It Can Be A Mental Disorder, Where People Suffer Quietly ]

[ As They Go Quietly In The Night ]
[ Because They Give Up ]
[ & Quit The Fight ]

[ Sometimes It Is Because They Have No More Energy To Keep
     Fighting ]
[ So They Put Down Their Pen ]
[ After They Are Done Writing ]

[ Their Suicide Note ]
[ Then They Read, What They Just Wrote ]

[ They Wrote That Nothing Makes Them Happy, Anymore ]
[ Not Even A Friend, Walking Through The Door ]

[ Sometimes Days On End ]
[ Are Stayed Covered Up, In Their Bed ]

[ Only Getting Up For Drinks Or Food ]
[ Thinking That Whatever They Say, Will Be Misunderstood ]

[ Getting Up Fewer & Fewer Times, As The Hours Tick By ]
[ Because Of Their Depressive Moods ]
[ No One Comes By, To Say ( HI ) ]

[ The More Days That People Stay Away ]
[ The Less They Eat ]
[ & The Less That They Weigh ]

[ Sometimes Suicidal Thoughts, Consume Them ]
[ Getting Away From The Suicidal Thoughts, Becomes A Problem ]

[ Once They Have Decided To Take Their Pills ]
[ A Feeling Of Warmth, Pushes Out The Chills ]

[ Then They Quietly Lay Down & Close Their Eyes ]
[ No Longer Having To Listen, To Anymore Lies ]

[ When They Are Found, They Are Gone ]
[ Their Soul Has Moved On ]

[ Then, There Is No More Pain ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo iā ‘oe  ]
[  A hui hou mākou  ]
[  Aloha  ] ‎ 
  ‎
[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe ]



(154)▪︎[ Give Myself A Talk … 2•17•2020 ]

[ I Tell You This ]
[ I’ll Tell You No Lie ]
[ That When Death Gave You It’s Kiss ]
[ I Had To Try ]
[ To Keep A Dry ]
[ Eye ]

[ You Were My Last String ]
[ Connecting Me To This Messed Up Family Thing ]
[ Now, Who Will Bring ]

[ Such Laughter ]
[ Only During Our Phone Calls ]
[ Not After ]

[ We’d Punch Each Other Silly With Our Put-Downs ]
[ We’d Take Turns Being The Clown ]
[ You Were Supposed To Take Me To Our Home Island ]
[ & Show Me The Town ]

[ All Of Our Dreams Of Growing Old Together ]
[ Has Changed As Fast As The Oregon Weather ]

[ All Because Of This I Ask ]
[ Why Did You Not Complete The Simple Task ]
[ Of Putting On Your Mask ]
[ During The Night After Last ]

[ Maybe You Are Now Sending Me A Message, In Your Own Way ]
[ If I Want To Wake To See Another Day ]

[ I Must Fight ]
[ To Make Things Right ]
[ By Making Sure That MY Mask Must Be On Tight ]
[ Night After Night ]

[ So Everytime I Balk ]
[ I Should Give Myself A Good Talk ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo iā ‘oe  ]
[  A hui hou mākou  ]
[  Aloha  ] ‎ 
  ‎
[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe ]