Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?
[ The Future Or The Past? ]
[ This Is A Horrible Question For You ]
[ You Spend WAY Too Much Time Wrestling With Things In The Past! ]
[ You Don’t Know Why Your Brain Relives Things In Your Past Over & Over Again? ]
[ You Have PTSD From An Incident That Happened During One Night Shift When You Were Working In Juvenile Corrections ]
[ This Happened In August Of 2002. It Continues To Feel Like It Happened Yesterday ]
[ You Have Been Through All Different Kinds Of Therapy ]
[ Nothing Helps Make It Go Away ]
[ Just Like You Can’t Help Who Your Heart Turns Towards, You Seem To Not Always Be In Control Of All Of Your Thoughts ]
[ You Can Control The Actions You Do After Having The Thoughts ]
[ Your Heart Is Still With The Same Beautiful Woman It Has Been With Since The Summer Of 1994 ]
[ That Is An Easy One ]
[ You Have Yet To Find The Mystical Time Machine Where You Can Go Back In Time & Correct Misdeeds, Change Regrets Or Apologize To Those You Might Have Wronged While Traveling On Life’s Path ]
[ You Have Yet To Change A Single Event From Your Past ]
[ Maybe That Is What’s Wrong With People That Experience PTSD ]
[ Somehow They Get Stuck On The Event That Caused Horrible Trauma & Like A Ship That Has Run Aground, They Are Unable To Move Off Of It ]
[ PTSD Is Not Just For Veterans Or Soldiers That Were @ War. A Traumatic Event Can Happen To Anyone ]
[ Just Because You Have A Bad Dream & You Remember It, Doesn’t Mean You Suffer From PTSD ]
[ What You Might Have Is A Memory ]
[ Everybody Experience’s PTSD Differently ]
[ PTSD Will Not Manifest Itself The Same Way For (2) People, Even If (2) People Suffer Through The Same Traumatic Event ]
[ Now You Cannot Help But See That There Are Some Really Tough Roads That Lay Ahead ] [ This Is Not A Good Time ] [ To Run Out Of That Anti-Psychotic Med ] [ Maybe You Should Go Out & Enjoy Committing A Crime ] [ Instead ]
[ A Good Medication Won’t Make Your World Spin ] [ It Will Help You Win ] [ Even Before The Placebo Affects Start To Begin ]
[ Why Does A Bad Med Keep The Earth From Being Still? ] [ Will ] [ The Next Pill ] [ Help You To Remain Chill? ]
[ What Will Calm You Down? ] [ When You Look Around ] [ Don’t Show The Tears Of A Sad Clown ]
[ A Clown Is Supposed To Show A Smile ] [ For The Whole Day ] [ Not For Just For A Little While ] [ You Wish There Was A Way ] [ That You Could Change Your Mood By Just Turning A Dial ]
[ When A Clown Is Sad ] [ Where Can They Go To Hide? ] [ It Makes You Feel So Bad ] [ It Feels Like Your Soul Has Died ]
[ You Feel Like Everything Is Going By You So Fast ] [ But You Feel Like You Are Going So Slow ] [ You Are Only Seeing The Mistakes That You Made In Your Past ] [ Now You Don’t Know In Which Direction You Should Go ] [ To Make Good Memories That Can Last? ]
[ Do You Start With Your Right Foot, Or Your Left? ] [ Will It Always Be A Fight ] [ To Continue To Watch Your Step? ]
[ That Will Always Have You Looking Down, Instead Of Forward ] [ There Is No Reward ]
[ If You Start Going Backwards ] [ Because Someone That You Thought Was Close ] [ Chose ] [ To Say Some Choice Words ]
[ That Made Themselves Feel Better ] [ But Not You ] [ Would A Letter ] [ Had Been The Best Way To Give A Clue? ] [ Maybe Waving A Feather ] [ Would Had Been A Good Social Cue ]
[ The Fall Of ’81 You Took A Calligraphy Class @ Portland Community College (Sylvania Campus) ]
[ Fall Of ’82 You Moved All Of Your Belongings To The Most Southern School In Oregon, @ The Time It Was ‘Southern Oregon State College’, In Ashland, Oregon ]
[ You Were There For (2) Full Years, But Your Grades Dipped & So Fall Of ’84 You Enrolled @ ‘Rogue Community College’, In Grants Pass, Oregon. You Were There For (2) Terms. You Brought Your Grades Up ]
[ The Spring Of ’85 You Re-Enrolled @ “S.O.S.C.” You Finished In Spring Of ’86, But Fell Short Of Graduating ]
[ The Fall Of ’95 You Enrolled @ ‘Chemeketa Community College’ & Graduated With An “Oregon Transfer” Degree In The Spring Of ’96 ]
[ The Fall Of ’96 You Enrolled @ ‘Western Oregon University’. You Graduated In The Spring Of ’98 ]
[ Have You Ever Felt Like You Have Some Unresolved Grief ] [ That Needs Some Closure? ] [ But, When You Go Looking For Some Relief ] [ Are You Afraid Of More Exposure? ]
[ Of What Has Been Bugging You About Your Past? ] [ You Begin To Worry That Your Troubled Mind Might Last ] [ & The Dye Might Have Been Cast ]
[ Your Troubled Event Happened Over (23yrs) Prior ] [ Through (4) Completely Hostile Interrogations ] [ They Always Called You A Liar ] [ Which Led To So Many Frustrations ] [ Lighting Your Whole Life On Fire ]
[ You Fell Into A Rabbit Hole Where You Did Not See A Way Out ] [ All Of The Powers That Be ] [ Wanted You To Go Home & Sit In The Dark & Pout ] [ Wallowing About The Injustices Of Humanity ] [ You Got To To Be Too Tired To Scream & Shout ]
[ Everytime You Looked Around ] [ You Found ] [ That The Whole Gravity Of The State Kept Pounding ] [ You Into The Ground ]
[ The World Started Spinning ] [ You Saw No End ] [ You Never Noticed When This Mess Was Even Beginning ] [ They Left You With Nothing Left To Defend ] [ Nor Was There Any Chance Of Winning ]
[ What Was Left? ] [ Going Back To A Job Where You fHad To Constantly Watch Your Step? ]
[ What Would Happen To Your Free Will? ] [ When The Only Way Of Feeling Okay ] [ Would Be Taking An Anxiety Pill ] [ (3×) A Day ]
[ You Fail To See The Joy In Being A Pharmaceutical Experiment ] [ Always Feeling Different ] [ & Not Confident ]
[ The Event Broke You @ The Time ] [ All Because Those (2) Male Juveniles ] [ Wanted To Commit One More Major Crime ] [ & Go Out In Style ]
[ You Were Never Given The Choice Of Having A Representative From The Union Stand By Your Side ] [ They Never Gave You The Chance To Decide ] [ Or Confide ] [ So Afterwards There Was Nothing Left Of Your Pride! ]
[ Because Of Your Lack Of Training, Your Hope Of Figuring Things Out Were Dampened ] [ & Hampered ] [ Because Through The Whole History Of Being Opened ] [ This Event Had Never Before Happened ]
[ Getting On The Right Path ] [ Became As Complicated ] [ As Solving Story Problems In Calculus Math ] [ Without A Single Number Being Duplicated ]
[ Because Feeling This Lost Was Unknown Territory For You ] [ There Was Nothing To Do ] [ Because No One Had A Clue ] [ About How To Keep You From Feeling So Blue ]
[ & Down On Your Luck ] [ You Wish That It Would Have Been As Easy As Needing To Duck ] [ So That Made Every Day Suck! ]
[ But You Persevered & Came Out On The Other End, A Much Better & Stronger Man ] [ You No Longer Feel Like You Are Sinking In Quicksand ]
[ Robots Are Designed To Save Time ] [ But The Technology Can Also Be Misused ] [ To Commit Crimes ] [ & The Technology Will Be Abused ]
[ Being Human It Is Not About Saving ] [ Time, It Is About How It’s Spent ] [ It Is Not About Doing Something Good Or Misbehaving ] [ All That Matters Is Realizing Where The Time Went ]
[ Spending Time With Others ] [ Or Spending Time Alone ] [ Even If You Have Sister’s Or Brother’s ] [ Sometimes You Don’t Ever Reach Out To Them On The Phone ]
[ Being Around The Family That You Grew Up With ] [ Doesn’t Seem To Matter Much ] [ If They Are Not Even On Your Short Phone List ]
[ The One Good Thing About About Modern Tech ] [ Machines Are Logical ] [ So They Do Not Have The Ability To Talk Out Of Both Sides Of Their Neck ] [ & It Sometimes Sounds Comical ] [ When They Try To Hold You In Check ]
[ With The Fast Oncoming Train That AI Seems To Be ] [ Did The Maker Of The Technology ] [ Ever Foresee ] [ How It Will Stop People From Thinking That They Will Ever Feel Free ]
[ Again? ] [ Once Technology Starts Solving Problems On Its Own ] [ Where Will This End? ]