[ What Is In The Air Tonight? ]
[ Is It The Scent Of Good Memories? ]
[ Or Does It Make You Want To Fight? ]
[ Fight Back The Tears? ]
[ Or Fight Your Fears? ]
[ You Have Been Battling To Control These Emotions For Over
18 Years ]
[ You Have Narrowed That Count, Down To Three ]
[ But Each One Has The Same Affect On You ]
[ Because They Have Become Triggers ]
[ For Your PTSD ]
[ When You Start To Head Down That Negative Path It
Starts To Make You Worry ]
[ When There Needs To Be Someone In The Room ]
[ You Always Want To Say ( I’m SORRY! ) ]
[ In Advance ]
[ Because Nobody Should Be Forced To Watch ]
[ As You Slip Away, Into A Trance ]
[ Can You Be Woken? ]
[ Has There Ever Been A Word Spoken? ]
[ In Your Trance Like Look ]
[ Do You Look Broken? ]
[ You Feel Broken The Minute After You Come Out ]
[ Sometimes You Have Doubt ]
[ Of Where You Are @ That Minute ]
[ You Need To Be Talked To & Engaged ]
[ Or The Movie Can Come Back & Then You Will Be Right Back In It ]
[ Sometimes It Is A Really Slow ]
[ Fall ]
[ Into Someplace That You Don’t Want To Go ]
[ @ All ]
[ Back In, Because There Are Times When You Have Fallen ]
[ Your Name Is What Someone Should Be Calling ]
[ You Can Control A Twitch ]
[ As Well As You Can Control A Sneeze ]
[ So Don’t Act Like A Little Bitch ]
[ Please ]
[ & Laugh & Tease ]
[ Because You Can Hear If You Are Being Negligent ]
[ Or Caring ]
[ It Would Be Magnificent ]
[ If You Don’t Feel The Need To Go Around & Start
Sharing ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(899)▪︎[ It Is Who You Are … 10•26•2020 ]
[ Is It Who You’re With, Or Who You Are? ]
[ In A Group Of Ordinary People ]
[ Are You The Brightest Star? ]
[ Do You Persevere ]
[ & Shine? ]
[ When Others Have The Nerve ]
[ To Stand There & Whine? ]
[ Then You Say ( OH PLEASE ) ]
[ ( DO YOU WANT SOME CHEESE? ) ]
[ To Seal ]
[ That Meal? ]
[ Some People Stand There Waiting For Something To Do ]
[ Is That What You Want To Do Too? ]
[ I Didn’t Think So ]
[ Because That Is Not The Effort You Show ]
[ When Things Slow Down ]
[ You Speed Up ]
[ When You Look Around ]
[ You’re The Only One That Is Not Holding A Beggars Cup ]
[ A Nickel Here, A Dollar There ]
[ Whenever They Get A Dollar ]
[ They Would Never Share ]
[ They Keep Everything For Themselves ]
[ They Never Think Of Helping Or Including Anyone Else ]
[ Selfish Is The Word That Comes To Your Mind ]
[ Others Are Thankful ]
[ That Are Not Of That Kind ]
[ You Are Almost Too Generous ]
[ Most Of The Time ]
[ On Occasions Too Numerous ]
[ To Count ]
[ You Gave A Friend Your Last Dime ]
[ You Bypass Your Own Needs To Help Others ]
[ You Help Out Friends ]
[ Because You Don’t Have Any Sisters Or Brothers ]
[ Your Only Brother Got Taken From You Many Months Ago ]
[ For Reasons That You Will Never Know ]
[ ( THINGS HAPPEN FOR A REASON ) Some People Will Say ]
[ Those Are The Types Of People That Needs To Go Away ]
[ & Stay ]
[ That Way ]
[ Then End Things On A Positive Note ]
[ Show Them The Door ]
[ After They Grab Their Coat ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(418)▪︎[ What Would That Word Be? … 5•17•2021 ]
[ The Footage Sparked Outrage Across The Nation ]
[ America Has Now Been Reduced To Fractions ]
[ This Fraction Of People See’s The George Floyd Murder
Tape This Way ]
[ Another Fraction Of People See The Tape ]
[ & They Decided That They Sure Had Alot To Say ]
[ A Paramedic In-Training Tried To Give Floyd Some Medical
Attention ]
[ To Check His Pulse & Breathing ]
[ Not To Administer Medication ]
[ Christopher Martin Stated That He Wished That He Had Never
Made The Call ]
[ That Started This All ]
[ He Has Been Racked With Guilt Ever Since Then ]
[ He Feels That If He Would Not Had Made The Call, None Of This
Would Have Happened ]
[ In The Video He Had His Hands On His Head Looking & Acting
Stressed ]
[ Thinking That He Caused All Of This Mess ]
[ That Stress Should Not Have Been Laid Upon His Young
Shoulders ]
[ How Will This Affect His Life, As He Grows Older? ]
[ How Many Of Those Bystanders Called 911? ]
[ Because Of Chauvin’s Actions ]
[ The Only Thing That Chauvin Did Not Do, Was Use His Gun ]
[ The Fault For This Lies Squarely On Chauvin’s Head ]
[ It Was Completely His Actions That Caused George Floyd
To Be Dead ]
[ Those Bystanders Witnessed A Murder Right In Front Of
Their Eyes ]
[ Because Of The Police Body Cams & The Bystanders Recording
EVERYTHING On Their Phones ]
[ The Public Did Not Have To Be Forced Into Believing All Of The
Police Officers Lies ]
[ Oh, I Am Sure That The Officers Would Say That Floyd Died
From Acute Problems ]
[ Because Of The Drugs In His System ]
[ Chauvin’s Body Language During That Whole Video Showed
That He Was Very Relaxed ]
[ While Floyd’s Breathing System Was Taxed ]
[ Chauvin Did Not Show Any Sign That His Life Was In Any
Danger ]
[ Chauvin’s Demeanor Seemed Calm ]
[ There Was No Sign Of Anger ]
[ Floyd Had @ Least Two Other Cops Holding Him Down ]
[ Floyd Was A Very Large Man ]
[ Nobody Was As Big As Him Around ]
[ That Did Not Mean That He Deserved To Be Tortured ]
[ While He Was Being Murdered ]
[ Chauvin Did His Part ]
[ Because He Had Evil Intentions In His Heart ]
[ Chauvin Did Not Seem Affected By George’ Condition
When He Got Up ]
[ Maybe Because Floyd Showed No Wounds Or Cuts ]
[ Outwardly Floyd Looked Fine ]
[ He Wasn’t ]
[ Because Chauvin’s Actions Caused Floyd To Die ]
[ Everytime That I See That Video I Try To Come Up With
The Right Verb ]
[ But I Keep Coming Back To The Same One … Disturbed ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(062)▪︎[ Coulda Shoulda Woulda … 1•17•2020 ]
[ Way Way Back In The Brain, Where There Are A Whole Bunch
Of Woulds ]
[ There Also Lies Piles, Of Shoulds & Coulds ]
[ Some Of These Are Here, Because Of Changes In The Attitude ]
[ Some Need To Change, To Get In A Better Mood ]
[ Could One Of These Be The Thing That We Woulda Shoulda
Coulda Had Been Done ]
[ Some Were For Work Or Life ]
[ Some Coulda Made Our Life A Lot More Fun ]
[ Should I Had Walked Down That Street? ]
[ Should I Had Gone On That Run? ]
[ Could One Woulda, Had Me Marry The Wrong Wife? ]
[ That Would Be All I Would Need ]
[ A Lifetime Of Strife! ]
[ What If I Had Bought That Hat? ]
[ If Only I Had Only Done This Or That ]
[ Should I Had Bought That One In White ]
[ Could I Have Really Won? ]
[ If I Went Left Instead Of Right ]
[ Do I Call All Of These Coulda Shoulda Woulda’s ( REGRETS )? ]
[ Or Should I Call Them ( FORGETS )? ]
[ I Cannot Do Anything About Them Now ]
[ I Cannot Look @ One & Say ( CHANGE! ) ( POW! ) ]
[ It Is Fun To Use The Imagination ]
[ It Is Fun To Have A Fascination ]
[ It Is Not Good To Have A Fixation ]
[ Because If You Take A Woulda Shoulda Coulda ]
[ And Try It & Fix ]
[ The Whole World Could Play Tricks ]
[ And You Might Just Run Into A Whole Lot Of Dicks ]
[ So Try As You Might ]
[ When It Comes To This Subject ]
[ Bid It Goodnight ]
[ And Take It Out Of The Bright Light ]
[ And Close Your Brain To Its Sight ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(1041)▪︎[ How It Affects Me … 8•11•19 ]
[ When PTSD Hit Me Right In The Face ]
[ I Checked Out Of The Human Race ]
[ The Memory Of That One Fateful Day, In 2002, Is What I Couldn’t Erase ]
[ All Of A Sudden I Thought Living Was A Waste ]
[ My Thoughts Were Moving Like Paste ]
[ So I Gave Suicide A Taste ]
[ 5, 6, 7 Attempts ]
[ I Was So Depressed & Unkept ]
[ It Totally Sunk Me Into The Dark ]
[ Everybody Was In Drive ]
[ While I Stayed, Stuck In Park ]
[ The Drive Inside Me Totally Died ]
[ If I Told You [ YES, I WANT TO LIVE ] ]
[ I Smiled & I Lied ]
[ I Had No Fight ]
[ I Had No Internal Fire ]
[ When I Sat In A Room I Didn’t Turn On The Light ]
[ I Became A Bad Liar ]
[ Because I Failed To Know Wrong From Right ]
[ I Became As Useful As A Flat Tire ]
[ I Was A Sad Sight ]
[ Who Never Should Had Been Admired ]
[ @ Times I’d Feel So Ill ]
[ All I Thought About Was Swallowing A Handful Of Pills ]
[ For My Family I Was One Big Minus ]
[ For So Many Moments ]
[ I Wasn’t @ My Finest ]
[ All I Wanted Was To Be Left Alone ]
[ I Was Cold, Clear To My Bones ]
[ When People Talked To Me ]
[ I Didn’t Like Their Tone ]
[ The Voices Inside Of My Head Were So Loud ]
[ Physically I Was All By Myself ]
[ Mentally I Was Stuck In The Middle Of A Crowd ]
[ I Was A Shell Of The One That Lived & Thrived Until 2002 ]
[ When I Looked In The Mirror ]
[ There Was The Reflection Of A Man That I Never Knew ]
[ I Was Put Through 10 Painfull Sessions Of E.C.T. ]
[ Afterwards My Head Pounded ]
[ & My Vision Was Blurry ]
[ The Real Me Was Trapped Inside My Ill Mind ]
[ I Didn’t Know Sanity From My Own Behind ]
[ What Turned Around My Head ]
[ Was When I Went Unconscious Because Of Counter-
Active Meds ]
[ Days Turned Into Weeks, Which Then Became Months & Years ]
[ When Left All Alone In The Dark, I Shed Alot Of Tears ]
[ The Voices In My Head Only Shined A Spot Light On My Fears ]
[ But The P.T.S.D. Still Haunts My Days & Nights ]
[ The Sounds, The Smells & The Sights ]
[ Continues Giving Me Extreme Fright ]
[ Healing From P.T.S.D. Oftentimes Never Happens ]
[ Bad Night After Bad Night Totally Dampens ]
[ My Resolve ]
[ Because Sometimes The Problem Is Never Solved ]
[ & For Those Involved ]
[ It’s One Long Waiting Game ]
[ The Name’s The Same ]
[ But Is The Blame? ]
[ But The Way P.T.S.D. Affects Some ]
[ Is By Breaking Them Down So They Do Something Dumb ]
[ & Then When It’s Time To Get Together ]
[ They Don’t Want To Come ]
[ I Don’t Know If I’m Supposed To Thank ]
[ The System That Makes Me Draw A Blank ]
[ I Feel That P.T.S.D. Will Always Be With Me ]
[ Maybe Not Affecting Me Day After Day ]
[ But In My Memory ]
[ My Memory Seems To Be A Problem, Some Have Said ]
[ This Time The Problem IS All In My Head ]
[ My Memory Is Part Of The Reason I Don’t Move On ]
[ I Wish The Nightmares Would Be Gone ]
[ My Brain Makes Me Feel Like A Pawn ]
[ In A Game I Never Wanted To Play ]
[ But The P.T.S.D. Made Me Stay ]
[ I Wanted To Find Any Way ]
[ To Get Off Of The Merry-Go-Round ]
[ That Keeps Me From Having My Feet Firmly On The Ground ]
[ If It Wasn’t For My Strong Wife ]
[ I Wouldn’t Be Around Enjoying This Life ]
[ Then I Met A Counselor Who Kicked My Butt ]
[ She Wouldn’t Just Let Me Sit On The Couch Asking Her [ WHAT? ] ]
[ Then I Met An N.P. That Said, [ YOU’re TAKING TOO MUCH ] ]
[ So That Gave Me A Hunch ]
[ That I Needed To Pack A Lunch ]
[ Because This Woman Packs A Punch ]
[ They Jumped Right In ]
[ & Told Me To Begin Again ]
[ Their Goal Was To Make Me Whole ]
[ To Figure Out My Role ]
[ In The Family ]
[ & Society ]
[ P.T.S.D. Still Has An Affect ]
[ But More & More I Have Time To Reflect ]
[ About The Effect ]
[ It Has In My World ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(646)▪︎[ It Is All THEIR Business … 7•25•2020 ]
[ I Really Need To Stay Out Of Other People’s Business ]
[ If They Plan Or Choose To Do Something ]
[ I Need To Let It Be, Their Mess ]
[ & Never Mine ]
[ I Should Only Be Concerned About Going Dakine ]
[ Everyday, Before Nine ]
[ If They Want To Do Something, Then That Is What They’ll
Do ]
[ & If They Include Another ]
[ That Would Be Trouble, Times Two ]
[ That Means That Would Be ]
[ Something That Doesn’t Concern Or Affect Me ]
[ I Am Not Going To Be The One To Tell Them Where
Not To Step ]
[ Even If I Did ]
[ There Would Not Be Any Appreciation, I Bet ]
[ Appreciation Is Definitely Not Something That Is Widely
Shown ]
[ That Is A Fact, That Is Widely Known ]
[ So Known, That I’d Be Dumb Not To Know ]
[ Appreciation? ]
[ How Does It Show? ]
[ People Will Show That They Do Not Appreciate Something, Really
Quick ]
[ Even To Go As Far As Making Me Sick ]
[ Not To My Stomach, But In My Head ]
[ But Then I Ask Myself ]
[ ( DO I NEED MORE MED’s? ) ]
[ Or Maybe I Should Be Like Most Everyone Else ]
[ I’ll Just Throw Up My Arms & Go Back To Bed ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(822)▪︎[ A Big Thanks … 9•25•2020 ]
[ You Tore My Heart Out Of My Chest ]
[ & Just Threw It On The Ground ]
[ You Selfishly Thought That Would Be The Best ]
[ For Everybody Around ]
[ You Stood There Acting All Proud ]
[ While Talking Really Loud ]
[ To The Crowd ]
[ That Has Gathered Around You ]
[ Do You Really Think That You Are Getting Your
Point Through? ]
[ By Telling Them What You Do? ]
[ To Others That You Think Are Not As Strong? ]
[ & You Never Think That Is Wrong? ]
[ Is Your Sense Of Humanity Gone? ]
[ Has Your Good Conscience Moved On? ]
[ This Has Stopped Being Fun ]
[ So Now I’ve Got To Run ]
[ Because It Looks Like This Relationship Is Done ]
[ No Need To Explain ]
[ I Don’t Want To Hear You Complain ]
[ Not Anymore ]
[ Why, For? ]
[ It Makes Me Want To Head For The Door ]
[ I Knew This Was What You Dread ]
[ But When You Decided To Crawl In Another Man’s Bed ]
[ I Really Questioned What Was Going On In Your Head ]
[ You Should Had Thought Of Me ]
[ But You Thought Of Him Instead ]
[ That Is Why In My Heart ]
[ You Are Dead ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(281)▪︎[ Another Day … 4•4•2021 ]
[ You Tore My Heart Out Of My Chest ]
[ & Just Threw It On The Ground ]
[ You Selfishly Thought That Would Be The Best ]
[ For Everybody Around ]
[ You Stand There Acting All Proud ]
[ While Talking Really Loud ]
[ To The Crowd ]
[ That Has Gathered Around You ]
[ Do You Really Think That You Are Getting Your
Point Through? ]
[ By Telling Them What You Do? ]
[ To Others That You Think Are Not As Strong? ]
[ & You Never Think That Is Wrong? ]
[ Is Your Sense Of Humanity Gone? ]
[ Has Your Good Conscience Moved On? ]
[ This Has Stopped Being Fun ]
[ So Now I’ve Got To Run ]
[ Because It Looks Like This Relationship Is Done ]
[ No Need To Explain ]
[ I Don’t Want To Hear You Complain ]
[ Not Anymore ]
[ Why, For? ]
[ It Makes Me Want To Head For The Door ]
[ I Knew This Was What You Dread ]
[ But When You Decided To Crawl In Another Man’s Bed ]
[ I Really Questioned What Was Going On In Your Head ]
[ You Should Had Thought Of Me ]
[ But You Thought Of Him Instead ]
[ That Is Why In My Heart ]
[ You Are Dead ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(282)▪︎[ Counting The Hair On My Arm … 4•4•2021 ]
[ What Happens When You Get Up Really Early Because You
Are Way Too Late? ]
[ & Forgot The Key For The Combination Lock On The
Front Gate? ]
[ Would You Have To Go Around ]
[ As You Go Under? ]
[ & Then You Feel ]
[ The Lightning & The Thunder ]
[ The Thunder Is So Bright ]
[ & The Lightning Is So Loud ]
[ Does That Make You Have To Stand To The Right? ]
[ Of The Gathering Crowd? ]
[ Does The Crowd Cause The Thunder To Flash? ]
[ Does The Sound Of The Lightning ]
[ Cause Some Cars To Crash? ]
[ That Is One Part Of Father Time That No One Wants
@ All ]
[ Just Like Summer Weather Happening In The Fall ]
[ When Fall Rolls In ]
[ Does That Make You Think Of Spring Again? ]
[ Father Time Can Make It A Windy Day ]
[ Only If The Laws Of Nature ]
[ Has Her Way ]
[ What Goes Up Doesn’t Always Go Sideways ]
[ But Sometimes It Does Come Down ]
[ If Simon Says ]
[ Simon Does Not Always Cooperate From What I’ve Seen ]
[ Because Sometimes My Ribeye Steak ]
[ Does Not Always Come Out Feeling Lean ]
[ Just Like Ice Cream Colors Are Not Always Bold ]
[ & Hot Apple Pie ]
[ Is Not Very Cold ]
[ But If I Was Standing On Top Of A Bridge Over Looking
The Water ]
[ Would I Need To Rely On ]
[ The Ears Of A Spotter? ]
[ If I Jumped, Would I Have To Swim Before I Fly? ]
[ Aquaman Can’t ]
[ Because He Does Not Have Good Eyes ]
[ When He Walks In Water Does He Keep His Eyes Closed? ]
[ Or Does He Go Invisible? ]
[ So He Might Have To Really Plug His Nose ]
[ Before I End This Story, I Have One More Thing To Say ]
[ Okay ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(704)▪︎[ Since I Was Young … 8•16•2020 ]
[ It Seems That Ever Since I Was Young ]
[ There Have Been Many Times ]
[ Where I Had To Hold My Tongue ]
[ How Did I Accomplish This Over The Years? ]
[ It Wasn’t From Drowning My Tears ]
[ By Taking Whiskey Shots With My Beers ]
[ In Fact I Don’t Drink A Drop ]
[ After I Drank @ My Bachelor Party ]
[ I Once Again Decided To Stop ]
[ I Think It Is So Nice ]
[ That I Don’t Have To Think About Not Drinking Twice ]
[ Therefore Not Being Addicted ]
[ To Any Dangerous Vice ]
[ But I Have Been Holding My Tongue, Down To An Art ]
[ I Decided That I Never Wanted To Live Apart ]
[ From The People Who Are The Closest To My Heart ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
Lopaka's Poetic Stories Blog 