(571)▪︎[ So Many Textures!! … 7•12•2021 ]

[ ( OH NO, THERE ARE SO MANY TEXTURES HERE! ) Is
What You Scream ]
[ Four Or Five @ The Same Time Has Never Been A Dream ]

[ It Is More Like A War Going On In Your Mouth ]
[ You Quickly Spit It Out ]

[ Who Dared To Talk You Into Eating That One? ]
[ Think It Was Me, Because I Wanted To Have Some Fun ]

[ It Was Something That Was Was Totally Harmless ]
[ It Would Have Disolved In Your Mouth Under (3) Seconds
@ Best ]

[ I Can’t Get Very Much By You These Days ]
[ & Believe Me, I Try To, In All Different Ways ]

[ But It So Much Fun To See & Hear Your Reactions ]
[ It Is More Fun Than Throwing You An Issue That Involves
Math Fractions ]

[ Because I Am A Much Better Friend To You Than Math Has
Ever Been ]
[ I Have Never Asked You To Multiply, Then ]
[ Divide 3.1638953079473 By Ten ]

[ I Am A Much Better Friend Than That ]
[ & No I Never Disliked When You Were Wearing A Hat ]

[ Your Hat Selection Was Always Very Amusing ]
[ How They Fit Into The Ambiance Of Your Outfits Was
Always Confusing  ]

[ You Always Came Here For My Son ]
[ But You Would Eventually Come Back To Talk To Me
Because You Were So Done ]

[ You Never Stood In Front Of Me Being Mild & Meek ]
[ & Through Your Time Here ]
[ I Think That I Have Almost Become An Expert @
( ASHA SPEAK ) ]

[ If You Were An Outsider, The ( HMMs, EMs HMMs, & MMs )
Might Drive You Delirious ]
[ But I Come To Call That ( PART OF THE ASHA EXPERIENCE ) ]

[ I Guess To Some It Would Be Like ( GOING DAKINE ) ]
[ To Alcohol Drinkers It Would Be Like The Feeling You Get
When You Dink Fine Wine ]

[ Enough Of The Hawaiian Coming Out From Me ]
[ Whenever You Eat Something New, It Is So Fun To Sit
Back & See ]

[ How You Look It Over ]
[ Then How You Smell It All Over ]

[ Then There Is THE First Small Taste ]
[ Then If You Like It, There Will Be No Waste ]

[ When It Comes To Have An Experience With A ( FOODY ) You
Are My First ]
[ I Loved It When It Took You (3) Days To Get Up The Nerve
To Ask Me For A Water ]
[ To Quench Your Thirst ]

[ The ( ASHA EXPERIENCE ) Will Not Stop Here ]
[ Ash, Do I Make My Point Clear? ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(570)▪︎[ Thank You, Ash … 7•12•2021 ]

[ How Do I Close Our Front Door On Your Last Shift ]
[ Everytime You Came Here You Gave Me An Emotional
Lift ]

[ You Stepped In Whenever Zoey Called Out ]
[ You Protected Me, Without My Need To Shout ]

[ I Know Why You Came Back ]
[ You Wanted To Protect Me If BD Chose To Attack ]

[ Me One Night ]
[ You Chose To Protect Me If He Stepped Up To Fight ]

[ I Know ]
[ That You Could Have Reported Him Many Many Months
Ago ]

[ Maybe You Did Not Want Me To Go Through The Headache
Of The Investigation That Would Follow ]
[ @ An Early Time Here ]
[ You Found Out That His Words Sounded Hollow ]

[ I Know That You Were Put Through Hell ]
[ & Things That I Heard ]
[ Did Not Sit With Me Very Well ]
[ It Was Hard For You To Even Repeat Any Of His Words ]
[ Sometimes, I Could Tell ]

[ But You Stood Tall ]
[ & Remained Strong ]
[ You Showed Him That He Was Hitting A Wall ]
[ When He Was Doing Something Wrong ]

[ I Am Going To Miss You Beyond What Words Can Say ]
[ Everytime You Showed Up ]
[ You Made My Day ]

[ Ash, You Are Really Going To Be Missed! ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(229)▪︎[ What Kind Of Pain? … 3•6•2020 ]

[ Emotional Pain Is Inward Which Makes Us Avoid Ourselves ]
[ Because We Know Of Nothing Else ]

[ It’s Like Not Using A Belt ]
[ So Your Pants Don’t Fall Down ]
[ You Wouldn’t Know How Others Felt ]
[ When You Looked Like A Clown ]

[ The Cause & Effect Of Brent’s Death Is Another Reason
& Example To Not Take Another Drink ]
[ Stop & Think ]
[ Would This Push Me To The Brink? ]

[ Of What? ]
[ A Punch In The Gut? ]
[ An Undercut? ]
[ But, But, But ]

[ How Would I Know That Would Not Be The Time That I Would
Get Addicted? ]
[ Can That Be Predicted? ]
[ While You Are Convicted? ]

[ The Answer Would Be ( NO! ) ]
[ ( I WOULD NOT KNOW ) ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(109)▪︎[ Currency … 2•5•2020 ]

[ Time, Is The Only Currency That We’ll Never Get Back ]
[ & Sometimes, It Is More Time That We Lack ]

[ Time Takes A Long Time To Tick By ]
[ Then You Wonder ( I’m WATCHING THE CLOCK, WHY? ) ]

[ Watching The Clock Tic, Is About As Productive As Watching
Water Boil ]
[ It Makes As Much Sense As Mixing Water & Oil ]

[ Watching The Clock Could Make You Bored ]
[ Wasting Time Is Something Most Of Us Cannot Afford ]

[ The Worst Is When You Procrastinate ]
[ You Might As Well Stand In One Place & Wait ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(569)▪︎[ Lost In The Shades … 7•11•2021 ]

[ I Have Found That I Get Lost In The Shades Of Color Or
     Lack There Of ]
[ Thankfully I Don’t Have To Be Asked Which One Of The Millions
     Of Colors Do I Love? ]

[ Sometimes Things Look A Little Gray ]
[ Because Being Color Blind Does Not Change During
     The Day ]

[ Night Time Does Not Get Any Better ]
[ Because Many Times In The Color Blind Book ]
[ I Cannot See The Number Or Letter ]

[ The Book Starts Out As Easy As Can Be ]
[ But Then I Could Not Get Past Page Number Three ]

[ Then Everything Went Blurry & My Eyes Got Lost ]
[ If I Ever Wanted To Correct My Vision ]
[ I Wouldn’t Do It, No Matter The Cost ]

[ I Know That My Favorite Color Right Now Is Pink ]
[ Sometimes I Get Colors Confused ]
[ Because Of The Different Colors Of Ink ]

[ Red & Black Sometimes Get Lost & Then Comes Out Looking
     A Little Green ]
[ Those Are The Times When I Get Confused By Looking @
     Something On The Small Screen ]

[ So One Day When I Was Young ]
[ I Was Showing Barbara A Picture That I Proudly Colored ]
[ But My Insensitive Bitch Of A Sister, Could Not Hold
     Her Tongue ]

[ She Laughed & Laughed Right On Cue ]
[ She Was Laughing Because I Had Colored Half Of The Sky
     Purple ]
[ & Half Of The Sky Blue ]

[ I Knew From That Point On ]
[ That My Ability To Tell The Differences Between Some
     Colors ]
[ Was Long Gone ]

[ By The Wayside ]
[ Because I Was Seriously Color Blind ]

[ So Be It, Is What I Say ]
[ I Guess There Had To Come A Day ]
[ To Be Shone That Way ]

[ I Guess A Little Healthy Sibling Teasing Has A Good Meaning
     Behind It ]
[ Even Though @ The Time ]
[ I Did Not Appreciate It, One Little Bit ]

[ I Do Like To Look Back @ That Interaction More Calmly ]
[ So I Look Back @ That Day More Fondly ]

[ @ Least There Is One Interaction That Was Remembered
     Like That ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(567)▪︎[ Get Out Of My House! … 7•11•2021 ]

[ Well, The Era Of My Son Living @ Home Is Coming To An End
     In A Few Days ]
[ My Emotions About It, Has Me Thinking About This In Many
     Ways ]

[ But I Know For A Fact ]
[ Because Of How He Acts ]
[ & Reacts ]

[ Around Here & With Me ]
[ This Is What Needs To Happen ]
[ From What I See ]

[ He Goes From 0 To 60 In One Second Flat ]
[ This Is Where Our Relationship Is @ ]

[ He Still Will Not Take Accountability ]
[ For His Actions ]
[ He Just Flat Out Fails @ Taking Responsibility ]
[ For His Reactions ]

[ The Time For Me To Mold ]
[ Him Into An Adult ]
[ Should Have Had Some Kind An Affect By The Time That He
     Was 18 Years Old ]

[ I Have Not Had Any Affect On Him For The Last (8) Years,
     It Seems ]
[ The Way Things Have Turned Out, Was Nowhere Near My
     Dreams ]

[ That I Had ]
[ For The Last 8+ Years He Has Not Respected Me As His
     Dad ]

[ Like That Last Word In That Sentence, I Stand Alone ]
[ Like A Single Stone ]

[ In His Life’s Path, Just Getting Kicked To The Side ]
[ Not Caring, How It Made Me Feel Inside ]

[ But His Moving Out Day, Is Coming Up ]
[ I Won’t Have Him In My House, Anymore ]
[ Stealing Everything Of Mine, Except My Lone, Coffee Cup ]

[ Now In A Couple Of Nights, He Will Be In A Different House,
     With A Different Atmosphere ]
[ I Hope In The Dead Of The Night When It’s Quiet ]
[ That He Will Think Back & See How Good He Had It Here ]

[ I Hope, That Missing Living In This House, Will Stay In The
     Forefront Of His Mind ]
[ Sometimes ]

[ & Then See How His Actions Pushed The Move Out Button
     Sooner Than Later ]
[ His Actions & Language Turned Him Into A Hater ]

[ A Hater Of Everything That I Did Or Said ]
[ With Other Men ]
[ He Would Have Gotten Smacked Really Hard Upside His
     Head ]
[ But I Chose To Be Non-Violent Instead ]

[ & Now See ]
[ Where It Got Me ]
[ Him Moving Out In (3) ]

[ More Days! ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(200)▪︎[ Grieving & Leaving … 3•1•2020 ]

A[ This Grieving Stuff Is For The Birds ]
[ My Thoughts Are All Consuming ]
[ But I Can’t Put All Of Them Into Words ]

[ Is There A Special Way To Grieve ]
[ Without Making Your Sanity Leave? ]

[ Like The Falling Leaf ]
[ Can It Be Brief? ]

[ Nothing About Grieving Makes Sense ]
[ It’s As Predictable As Getting A Smile ]
[ On The Face Of Vice-President Pence ]

[ Make Your Life ]
[ Like ]
[ Dice ]
[ Throw Them Against The Wall, Twice ]

[ That’s Like My Thoughts Being Rearranged ]
[ Sometimes They Seem Caged ]

[ All Pent Up In A Little Box ]
[ Who Has The Key, Goldilocks? ]

[ I Wish These Thoughts Of Mine ]
[ Would Fall Into Line ]
[ With Nine Rows Of Nine ]
[ Then They’d Take Me Dakine ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(247)[ The Rose … 3•9•2020 ]

[ How Can One Tell That Someone Is Trying To Get One
Over On Them? ]
[ They Act Like They Are The Beautiful Head Of The Rose ]
[ & I Am Just The Stem ]

[ But The Head Can’t Survive With The Stem Cut Off ]
[ They’d Look Around Their Surroundings & Feel Lost ]

[ So This Person Thinks They Have Everything Wrapped
Up Tight & Safe ]
[ But If Things Are Wrapped Up Too Tight ]
[ They May Chafe ]

[ Why Would They Want This Done? ]
[ Should I Get Up & Run? ]
[ I Don’t Think This Is Very Fun ]

[ Anymore ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(172)▪︎[ Hurting … 2•22•2020 ]

[ I Hurt So Much Right Now ]
[ I Am Supposed To Pull It Together ]
[ But I Don’t Know How ]

[ I Lost My Younger Brother Brent A Couple Of Nights
Ago ]
[ He Passed As He Slept ]
[ & Now I Don’t Know ]
[ How Long I’ve Wept ]

[ He Was The Last Member Of My Family In My Mind ]
[ Oh If I Could Only Pound On The Button That Says
( REWIND! ) ]

[ I Don’t Know How Far Back In Years I Would Go ]
[ Then I’d Hit ( PLAY ) ]
[ & Take It Really Slow ]

[ You See, We Were Separated About When He Was One &
I Was Two ]
[ I Knew I Had A Brother Out There ]
[ Somewhere ]
[ But I Had No Clue ]
[ I Grew Up Not Asking Questions ]
[ Because It Seemed Like Nobody Cared ]
[ Or Nobody Knew ]

[ It Wasn’t Until After We Were Married & My Wife Asked ]
[ ( WOULD YOU MIND IF I LOOKED FOR YOUR BROTHER? ) ]
[ I Told Her That She Could Take On That Task ]
[ But I Don’t Want To Know A Thing About Our Mother ]

[ She Tracked Down The Police Report For When My Dad
Shot Himself In The Head ]
[ Seeing This Report Was Something That I Grew Up To Dread ]

[ The Report Sent Her In The Direction That Would Make
Her Rave & Rant ]
[ Because It Said That The Names Of His Children Was Bobby,
Robin & Brant ]

[ That Made The Direction Of The Hunt Juke ]
[ Instead Of Jive ]
[ It Seems That When Our Dad Got Depressed He Never Told The Truth ]
[ About His Intentions To Die ]

[ The Information That She Found Blew My Mind To Pieces ]
[ She Even Found Names Of Possible Nephews & Nieces ]

[ So He Said He Couldn’t Help Us Know A Man With Brant For
His Name ]
[ But He Stated That He Has An Uncle ( BRENT ) Who Sounded
The Same ]

[ He Told My Wife He Had His Number & North
Carolina Was Where He
Lived ]
[ He Had His Uncle’s Number & Then Said ( THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO GIVE ) ]

[ The Next Night I Sat Down & Picked Up The Phone ]
[ I Thought ( THIS IS LIKE WALKING INTO THE UNKNOWN ) ]

[ A Man’s Voice Came On & Sounded Kind Of Gruff ]
[ Asking Him About Five Questions Was Kind Of Rough ]

[ Then He Asked Two Questions That I Thought Was Strange
But Funny ]
[ ( WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME … DO YOU NEED A KIDNEY ) ]

[ That Was The Start Of What We Had ]
[ He Talked About The Kids Who Call Him Dad ]

[ Brent Was All Of The Family That I’ve Got ]
[ Now Death Has Taken Him ]
[ & All Of That Effort Was For Naught ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]