(054)▪︎[ Raging Storm … 1•15•2021 ]

[ Inside Every One Of Us Is A Storm Waiting To Rage ]
[ Are You The Rain, The Thunder, The Lightning ]
[ Or The Next Ice Age? ]

[ When There Are Storms @ The Beach ]
[ The Waves Crash So Hard & So Loud ]
[ You Cannot Hear Anyone Speak ]

[ Some People Have A Fascination With Storms ]
[ That Is Just Slightly Out Of Other Peoples Norms ]

[ Is It The Driving, Blinding Rain ]
[ That Floods The Outside Drains ]
[ That Drive Those People Insane? ]

[ Is The Flash Of The Lightning Or The Thunderous Boom ]
[ That Makes People Hide ]
[ Or Run Into The Inside Rooms? ]

[ The Weather Guy ]
[ Tells No Lies ]
[ When He Predicts That The Lightning @ Night ]
[ Will Light Up The Sky’s ]

[ Others Like The Calm & The Warmth That The Sun Brings ]
[ That Seems To Be When All Of The Birds Sing ]
[ It Also Has You Wonder ]
[ What Opportunities A New Day Will Bring ]

[ The Opportunities Would Be Endless ]
[ & If You Tried ]
[ It Would Knock You Senseless ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(04)▪︎[ The Support Was A Myth … 1•2•2021 ]

[ I Have Always Wondered What It Would Feel
     Like Having A Supportive Mom ]
[ That Would Be As Likely ]
[ As Me Changing My First Name To Tom ]
[ Or Having The Desire To Putting On A Short Skirt ]
[ So I Could Shake My Brand New Set Of Pom Poms ]

[ It Has Been So Long Since Things Were Like That
     It Is Now Just A Fuzzy Picture In My Mind ]
[ So I Don’t Have Many Memories Of The Positive Kind ]

[ I Never, Ever, Ever Had The Support From A Caring Dad ]
[ He Did Not Even Like Me ]
[ I Should Add ]

[ He Never Showed A Single Sense Of Acceptance ]
[ He Only Showed Indifference ]

[ All He Did Was Avoid ]
[ Everything That I Did ]
[ He Seemed Like He Was Annoyed ]

[ He Did Not Coach, Assist Or Teach ]
[ His Choices For Our Vacations ]
[ Was To Always Go To The Beach ]

[ I Sure Played Solitaire Card Games Alot ]
[ All Through My Childhood ]
[ Don Showed The Emotions Of A Malfunctioned Robot ]

[ When We Went On Vacations I Never Took A Friend With Us ]
[ Nobody Would Have Noticed ]
[ If I Went Back Home By Catching A Bus ]

[ But Barbara Was Not Much Better Than Don ]
[ She Or He Would Take Me To Sporting Events ]
[ One Minute They Were There & Then They Were Gone ]

[ After Awhile I Stopped Looking Around ]
[ Because After Looking For Them ]
[ They Were Nowhere To Be Found ]

[ So I Channel My Hurt & Pain From My Childhood ]
[ Into My Poetic Stories ]
[ Where My Words Are Understood ]

[ So The Support & Care ]
[ Was Never, Ever There ]

[ I Would Never Know What It Would Feel Like To Have That
     Support Cemented In My Head ]
[ But Now Things Are Perfect For Me ]
[ Because I Am So Happy That Both Barbara & Don Are Dead! ]
[ & As Far As I Can See ]
[ They Are Both Dead, Dead & Really Dead ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]   ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(066)▪︎[ The Blade Drops … 1•18•2021 ]

[ Why Do I Put My Neck Out On The Ledge? ]
[ Why Does My Patience Go Out Past The Edge? ]

[ Nobody Else Puts Their Neck Out Past The Line ]
[ Whenever I Look Around ]
[ The Only Neck Out Their Is Mine ]

[ Ready For The Guillotine To Drop ]
[ Even Though I Am Laying There, Yelling For It To Stop ]

[ But Does That Do Any Good? ]
[ Are The Words ]
[ Heard ]
[ By The Man Standing Above Me Wearing That Black Hood? ]

[ It Does Not Seem ]
[ To ]
[ As I Scream ]
[ @ You ]

[ But You Are Not Giving Me Any Attention ]
[ You Are Not Trying To Make A Change In The Direction ]
[ You Think That All That I Was Doing ]
[ Was Trying To Lead An Insurrection ]

[ But You Know That Was Not True Deep Down In Your Heart ]
[ & Your Silence ]
[ Is Tearing My Insides Apart ]

[ But I Won’t Make A Peep ]
[ As I Fall Into A Deep ]
[ Sleep ]

[ It Does Not Seem ]
[ Like I Will Have The Ability To Dream ]

[ Though ]
[ That Is One Thing That Will Be Easy To Know ]
[ & The Signs Will Show ]

[ That I Am Right ]
[ & The Light ]
[ Will Show The Difference Between Black & White ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(067)▪︎[ Okay, What’s Next? … 1•18•2021 ]

[ Right Now I Feel Like A Rudderless Ship ]
[ On The Turbulent Sea ]
[ Being Just A Blip ]
[ On The Radar That Nobody See’s ]

[ Nobody Makes Time For Me In Their Life ]
[ & That Leaves Scars ]
[ Because The Loneliness Cuts Me Like A Knife ]

[ Is The Sun Coming Up On The Horizon ]
[ Or Is It Going Down? ]
[ It Just Seems Like Another Day Is Done ]
[ Without Me Being Able To Set Foot On Solid Ground ]

[ I Just Don’t Know Which Way To Go ]
[ Do I Head East Or West? ]
[ I Don’t Know ]
[ Which Direction Would Be The Best ]

[ When There Is No Prospect Of Seeing Land ]
[ I Feel Like A Beaten Man ]

[ When There Is No Hope In The Future ]
[ That Pulls @ The Sutures ]

[ That Were Put There To Hold Together The Past Wounds ]
[ Wounds Inflicted By Those That I Was Fooled Into Believing In ]
[ Who Have Now Scattered Like Scared Raccoons ]

[ People Who Sailed With Me When Things Were Calm & Nice ]
[ When The Waters Started To Get Choppy ]
[ They Were Gone ]
[ Without Thinking Twice ]

[ Why? ]
[ Are Really Good Friends Hard To Come By? ]
[ When I Take Them @ Their Word ]
[ They Shake My Hand & Lie ]

[ This Is Not How I Mapped Out My Life To Be ]
[ Was There A Key ]
[ That I Didn’t See? ]

[ Was There Some Kind Of Clue ]
[ That Wasn’t Seen By Me ]
[ But Seen By Those Other Two? ]

[ Did I Keep Going Down The Road When I Should
Have Stopped? ]
[ Was I Dropped? ]

[ From The Priorities Of Those That Used To Text? ]
[ Okay, If That’s How It Is ]
[ Then I Wonder ( WHAT’S NEXT? ) ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(068)▪︎[ Some Things Are Said … 1•18•2021 ]

[ Someone Once Said ( I WELCOME YOUR BOO’s,
     BECAUSE I’ve SEEN WHAT YOU CHEER FOR! ) ]
[ For Those Who Looks To Walk In Your Shoes ]
[ I Chose To Not Answer Your Knock @ My Front
     Door ]

[ Everyone Is Entitled To The Freedom Of Speech ]
[ But Sometimes Their Words Overreach ]

[ Of What & Who It Was Intended ]
[ But When People Get Offended ]
[ The Conversation Cannot Be Pretended ]

[ Like The Words, Were Never Said ]
[ Sometimes They Get Embedded ]
[ In Another Persons Head ]

[ In Their Memories Or In Their Thoughts ]
[ Making Them See Stripes ]
[ & Polka Dots ]

[ You Can Have Your Rights Of Saying Words ]
[ But I Have The Right To Have My Own Perception ]
[ Of What I Just Heard ]

[ We Are Here Right @ This Point In Our Lives ]
[ Because Of What We Heard, Did, Saw Or Said In Our Past ]
[ But Sometimes Your Internal Drive ]
[ Makes You Go Too Fast ]

[ To Where They Miss The Points In Conversations ]
[ Then They Have Some Reservations ]

[ Because What They Want To Do Is Make Corrections ]

[ Some Things Said Cannot Be Corrected ]
[ Or Be Connected ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]   ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(072)▪︎[ Back To A Norm … 1•20•2021 ]

[ In An Attempt To Get Back To Some Form ]
[ Of Norm ]
[ Will We Have To Make Everyone Conform? ]

[ That Would Make Me Scream ]
[ If All Of This Past Month ]
[ Been Part Of Someones Wet Dream ]

[ This, In No Kind Of Way ]
[ Has Been A Couple Of Good Days ]

[ There Was A Day Of Extreme Violence ]
[ Trying To Bring The Voices Of Washington D.C. ]
[ Into A Vote For Silence ]

[ They Brought A Riot That Began In The Street ]
[ Into The Senate ]
[ To Look For Some Democratic Senators To Beat ]
[ They Found A Cop ]
[ & Knocked Him Off Of His Feet ]

[ They Beat Him With A Fire Extinguisher Of All Things ]
[ That Brought Back The Thoughts Of A Very Hard Day ]
[ Where The Memories Really Stings ]
[ & Then I Know What Those Memories Brings ]

[ They Bring The Day Back ]
[ Of The Riot ]
[ & The Attack ]
[ In The Form Of A Very Bad, Realistic Flashback ]

[ They Could Be Short In Time Or Very Long ]
[ The Length Of Them Would Be Based On How Strong ]

[ They Are ]

[ Either Way, It Is Not A Fun Experience To Go Through ]
[ & Many Of You ]
[ Would Think That Way Too ]
[ If You Were In The Position I Was In Clear Back On That
Day, In August Of 2002 ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(063)▪︎[ Two Totally Unfit Mothers … 1•17•2021 ]

[ As The Light Fades In My Eyes ]
[ I Try To Run From All Of The Lies ]

[ The Lie That The Future Looks Bright ]
[ & The One That If I Live A Good, Law Abiding Life ]
[ Things Would Turn Out Alright ]

[ That Is One Lie After Another ]
[ It Started When I Was Given Up By My Mother ]

[ Parents Are Supposed To Love & Protect ]
[ As A Baby ]
[ Wouldn’t That Be The First Thing I Should Expect? ]
[ & Get ]

[ She Did Not Leave A Note Or A Positive Comment ]
[ After She Went To Court ]
[ & Signed Those Documents ]

[ All That She Wanted To Do Is Run ]
[ She Didn’t Want To Be My Mom ]
[ She Just Wanted To Be Done ]

[ Then What Did Fate Bring? ]
[ The Next Mom, Did The Same Thing ]

[ Not The Same Way, But It Had The Very Same Result ]
[ That Barbara ]
[ Kicked Me Out Of Her Life Because Of A Made Up
     Insult ]

[ She Literally Kicked Me Out Of Her Life Right Then! ]
[ As Soon As She Told Me To Get Out Of Her Life ]
[ I Literally Knew When ]

[ She No Longer Wanted Me In It ]
[ I KNEW ]
[ Right @ That Minute ]

[ She Was So Sure ]
[ So I Had Zero Words To Say To Her ]

[ I Told Myself ( ONCE THIS EXILE BEGINS ) ]
[ We Would NEVER Talk Again ]

[ First It Was A Piece Of Paper ]
[ Now It Is A Phone Call ]
[ Neither One Was Done As A Favor ]

[ Maybe It Was A Favor That Turned Out To Be For
     My Benefit ]
[ If I Was To Look Up The Definition Of ( MOTHER ) ]
[ Neither One Of Them Were A Fit ]
[ Not Even A Little Bit ]

[ I Hope Both Women Really Suffered Physically &
     Mentally Before They Died ]
[ Because If Either One Said That They Were EVER A Good
     Mother To Me ]
[ … They LIED!! ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]   ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(064)▪︎[ All Lies … 1•17•2021 ]

[ Lies, Lies, Lies ]
[ Told To Me, Directly To My Wide Open Eyes ]

[ People Saying That They Are Being Completely
Honest ]
[ Some Saying That What Are Doing Is For The Best ]

[ For Who? ]
[ Is It For Them? ]
[ Or Is It The Best Thing For You? ]

[ It Is Always What Is Best For Themselves ]
[ Everyone Else ]
[ Can Go To Hell ]

[ When Everything Is Said & Done ]
[ 9 Out Of Every 10 People ]
[ ALWAYS, I Mean ALWAYS Looks Out For Number 1 ]

[ When People Look In The Mirror ]
[ They Only Love Who Is Right Here ]

[ Reflecting Back ]
[ Sympathy ]
[ & Empathy ]
[ Are Two Huge Things That Most People Lack ]

[ But They Sure Expect It From Others ]
[ & Not Just From Their Mothers ]

[ Selfish, Self-Centered & Demanding ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(384)▪︎[ How Does The Future Look? … 5•1•2021 ]

[ Sometimes The Pain Inflicted On Your Heart Gets
To Be Close To Be Unbearable ]
[ & Then The Hollow Words Seem To Be Given Like They
Are Charitable ]

[ Positive Words Seemed Forced ]
[ Acts Of Kindness Look Coerced ]

[ When He Was (10) Years Old He Agreed To A Very Hurtful
Statement ]
[ It Was Not Followed By A Single Positive Comment ]

[ Has Things Been Going Up On A Positive Swing? ]
[ What Does Your Show Of Love & Respect Bring? ]
[ There Has Been A Constant & A Consistent Thing ]
[ & That Is The Incredible Sting ]

[ Your One Continuity ]
[ Has Been Humility ]

[ Turn The Other Cheek Is What The Good Book Would Say ]
[ How Many Turns Of Your Cheeks Should Happen In A
Single Day? ]

[ Nothing Hurts You More Than Love That Was Lost ]
[ You Really Underestimated The Total Cost ]

[ It Was Never Monetary ]
[ The Love Loss Was Not Momentary ]

[ A Punch To The Head Would Hurt Alot Less ]
[ Than The Pain That Has Been Inflicted Throughout This Mess ]

[ Was There Ever A Harsh Physical Act? ]
[ Has There Ever Been A Varifyable Fact? ]

[ This Kind Of Hate Just Came Out Of Nowhere ]
[ What Is The Reason? ]
[ You Have Asked Several Times If He Would Ever Like
To Share ]

[ Whenever The Topic Was Brought Up With A ( WHY IS
THIS SO? ) ]
[ It Has Always Been Met With An ( I DON’t KNOW ) ]

[ This Much Callousness Does Not Happen ( JUST BECAUSE ) ]
[ Has He Ever Stopped? ]
[ Or Is This Just What He Does? ]

[ But That Is Not True ]
[ This Behavior Is Only Directed @ You ]

[ It Is Not Directed @ Others ]
[ He Does Not Do This With His Grandparents Or Mother ]

[ Just Like When The Topic Of Conversation Centers On
You ]
[ That Is His Cue ]

[ To Be Abrupt ]
[ Then Quickly Interrupt ]

[ & Change The Topic ]
[ To Something That He Wants To Pick ]
[ The Number Of Times That He Has Been Such The Dick ]
[ Really Makes Your Stomach Sick ]

[ When Did This Start, When Will It Stop? ]
[ When Will The Other Shoe Drop? ]

[ It Does Not Matter The Event Or The State That You
Are In ]
[ Whenever The Mood Fits For Him ]

[ Was He Ever Put On The Spot? ]
[ & Asked About The Lessons That Were Taught? ]
[ Has Your Efforts Been All For Naught? ]

[ It Has Never Been Clear ]
[ Where The Relationship Goes From Here? ]

[ Is There Anything To Salvage Of This Relationship? ]
[ On The Big Screen Of Life Will It Just Be A Blip ]

[ Will It Just Be A Bunch Of Bad Memories In Time? ]
[ A Few Words In A Rhyme? ]

[ Everything Is All Up In The Air ]
[ Will There Be Any Reasons Left To Care? ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(353)▪︎[ The Lonely Sea … 4•27•2021 ]

[ Lost, Floating On The Sea Of Loneliness ]
[ Could I Ever Feel Less ]
[ Of This Emptiness ]

[ How Did I Get Here? ]
[ My Path Back To Fullfillness Has Never Been
     All That Clear ]

[ When I Came To A Fork In The Road I Thought
     I Turned In The Right Direction ]
[ Using Hindsight ]
[ I Would Have Made A Correction ]

[ I Thought Going Left Was Good ]
[ Maybe My Brain Misunderstood ]

[ The Bright, Yellow, Yield Signs ]
[ Plus, When I Looked @ The Left Side ]
[ There Were No Lines ]

[ Maybe It Was That Way For A Reason ]
[ When I Looked To The Right ]
[ I Did Not Think That I Could Squeeze In ]

[ But Now I Float ]
[ On The Sea ]
[ Without A Single Paddle In My Boat ]

[ I Am @ The Mercy Of The Wind & The Current ]
[ This Problem Seems To Be Recurrent ]

[ Same Problem, But From A Different Issue ]
[ My Inner Strength Is As Strong As A Soft Kleenex
     Tissue ]

[ Flimsy & Easy To Rip To Shreads ]
[ Confusing, Like The Brain On Too Many Meds ]

[ Will I Be Forever Damned? ]
[ & Never Get Back To Dry Land? ]
[ Do I Lean Down ]
[ & Paddle With My Hand? ]

[ After Awhile ]
[ I Found That It Was Futile ]

[ Do I Hear The Sound Of A Storm Coming In? ]
[ When I Sense The Rain Begin ]
[ I Tell Myself ( I JUST CAN’t WIN! ) ]

[ Maybe This Will Be The Way My Life Will Go ]
[ Maybe Not ]
[ Probably So ]
[ Is All Of This Effort For Naught? ]
[ I Really Don’t Know ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]   ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]