(122)▪︎[ What Happened? … 2•8•2020 ]

[ Here I Sit All Broken Hearted ]
[ I Mistakenly Thought That We Had A Relationship Started ]

[ Where Did My Thinking Go Oh So Wrong? ]
[ It Seemed Like One Minute You Were Here ]
[ & The Next Minute You Were Gone ]
[ It Wasn’t Very Clear ]
[ That I Knew, What Was Actually Going On ]

[ Will You Help Me Straighten Things Out ]
[ & Let Me Know What Your Absence Is All About? ]

[ When Did The Direction Of Our Relationship Go South? ]
[ Was It When I Opened My Mouth ]

[ If It Was, What Did I Say? ]
[ If I Messed This Up ]
[ Tell Me, In What Way? ]

[ Is There Anythíng Left To Save ]
[ After We Parted With A Wave ]

[ I Thought, For Sure We Were On Good Terms ]
[ Tell Me, What Do I Have To Learn? ]
[ Are The Bridges Burned? ]

[ Teach Me? ]
[ Help Me See ]
[ How I Can Get To Be, The Best That I Can Be? ]

[ So Do You Know? ]
[ Where This Is Going To Go? ]

[ If You Don’t, Why Not? ]
[ Don’t You Realize What You’ve Got? ]
[ I Thought ]
[ That I Really Meant Alot ]

[ Where Is Your Mindset? ]
[ What Did You Want To Get? ]
[ When We First Met? ]

[ Were We Not, Then? ]
[ If Not, When? ]

[ Since I know That We Cannot Begin ]
[ Again ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(98)▪︎[ Why Good People? … 2•1•2020 ]

[ Why Do Bad Things Happen To Good People Everyday ]
[ We All Are Just Treading Water In This Big Sea, Called Life ]
[ Looking For The Way ]

[ That We Are Supposed To Go ]
[ Because As We Grow ]
[ We Can Come To The Resolution That @ Times ]
[ We Just Don’t Know ]

[ If We Should Go Straight ]
[ & Run Into A Locked Gate ]

[ Or Make A Hard Right ]
[ & Stop ]
[ Before We Get To That Bright Light ]

[ Because That Light Is An Oncoming Train ]
[ That Is Trying To Mess With Our Brain ]
[ Making Us Ask Ourselves ]
[ ( ARE WE OKAY, OR INSANE? ) ]

[ Then Someone Asks You ]
[ { IS THERE A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO? } ]
[ If There Is ]
[ Then Who Knew? ]

[ Who Knows How To Really Define What’s Going On In Your
Own Head ]
[ Before You’re Dead? ]

[ Can You Learn To Thrive ]
[ While You Are Alive? ]

[ Does Your Ego Need A Boost Every Now & Then? ]
[ If So, When? ]

[ It Is Also So Sweet ]
[ To Be Able To Ignore Those Ridiculous Tweets ]
[ While You Are Still Standing On Your Own Two Feet ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(229)▪︎[ What Kind Of Pain? … 3•6•2020 ]

[ Emotional Pain Is Inward Which Makes Us Avoid Ourselves ]
[ Because We Know Of Nothing Else ]

[ It’s Like Not Using A Belt ]
[ So Your Pants Don’t Fall Down ]
[ You Wouldn’t Know How Others Felt ]
[ When You Looked Like A Clown ]

[ The Cause & Effect Of Brent’s Death Is Another Reason
& Example To Not Take Another Drink ]
[ Stop & Think ]
[ Would This Push Me To The Brink? ]

[ Of What? ]
[ A Punch In The Gut? ]
[ An Undercut? ]
[ But, But, But ]

[ How Would I Know That Would Not Be The Time That I Would
Get Addicted? ]
[ Can That Be Predicted? ]
[ While You Are Convicted? ]

[ The Answer Would Be ( NO! ) ]
[ ( I WOULD NOT KNOW ) ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(109)▪︎[ Currency … 2•5•2020 ]

[ Time, Is The Only Currency That We’ll Never Get Back ]
[ & Sometimes, It Is More Time That We Lack ]

[ Time Takes A Long Time To Tick By ]
[ Then You Wonder ( I’m WATCHING THE CLOCK, WHY? ) ]

[ Watching The Clock Tic, Is About As Productive As Watching
Water Boil ]
[ It Makes As Much Sense As Mixing Water & Oil ]

[ Watching The Clock Could Make You Bored ]
[ Wasting Time Is Something Most Of Us Cannot Afford ]

[ The Worst Is When You Procrastinate ]
[ You Might As Well Stand In One Place & Wait ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(200)▪︎[ Grieving & Leaving … 3•1•2020 ]

A[ This Grieving Stuff Is For The Birds ]
[ My Thoughts Are All Consuming ]
[ But I Can’t Put All Of Them Into Words ]

[ Is There A Special Way To Grieve ]
[ Without Making Your Sanity Leave? ]

[ Like The Falling Leaf ]
[ Can It Be Brief? ]

[ Nothing About Grieving Makes Sense ]
[ It’s As Predictable As Getting A Smile ]
[ On The Face Of Vice-President Pence ]

[ Make Your Life ]
[ Like ]
[ Dice ]
[ Throw Them Against The Wall, Twice ]

[ That’s Like My Thoughts Being Rearranged ]
[ Sometimes They Seem Caged ]

[ All Pent Up In A Little Box ]
[ Who Has The Key, Goldilocks? ]

[ I Wish These Thoughts Of Mine ]
[ Would Fall Into Line ]
[ With Nine Rows Of Nine ]
[ Then They’d Take Me Dakine ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(247)[ The Rose … 3•9•2020 ]

[ How Can One Tell That Someone Is Trying To Get One
Over On Them? ]
[ They Act Like They Are The Beautiful Head Of The Rose ]
[ & I Am Just The Stem ]

[ But The Head Can’t Survive With The Stem Cut Off ]
[ They’d Look Around Their Surroundings & Feel Lost ]

[ So This Person Thinks They Have Everything Wrapped
Up Tight & Safe ]
[ But If Things Are Wrapped Up Too Tight ]
[ They May Chafe ]

[ Why Would They Want This Done? ]
[ Should I Get Up & Run? ]
[ I Don’t Think This Is Very Fun ]

[ Anymore ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(172)▪︎[ Hurting … 2•22•2020 ]

[ I Hurt So Much Right Now ]
[ I Am Supposed To Pull It Together ]
[ But I Don’t Know How ]

[ I Lost My Younger Brother Brent A Couple Of Nights
Ago ]
[ He Passed As He Slept ]
[ & Now I Don’t Know ]
[ How Long I’ve Wept ]

[ He Was The Last Member Of My Family In My Mind ]
[ Oh If I Could Only Pound On The Button That Says
( REWIND! ) ]

[ I Don’t Know How Far Back In Years I Would Go ]
[ Then I’d Hit ( PLAY ) ]
[ & Take It Really Slow ]

[ You See, We Were Separated About When He Was One &
I Was Two ]
[ I Knew I Had A Brother Out There ]
[ Somewhere ]
[ But I Had No Clue ]
[ I Grew Up Not Asking Questions ]
[ Because It Seemed Like Nobody Cared ]
[ Or Nobody Knew ]

[ It Wasn’t Until After We Were Married & My Wife Asked ]
[ ( WOULD YOU MIND IF I LOOKED FOR YOUR BROTHER? ) ]
[ I Told Her That She Could Take On That Task ]
[ But I Don’t Want To Know A Thing About Our Mother ]

[ She Tracked Down The Police Report For When My Dad
Shot Himself In The Head ]
[ Seeing This Report Was Something That I Grew Up To Dread ]

[ The Report Sent Her In The Direction That Would Make
Her Rave & Rant ]
[ Because It Said That The Names Of His Children Was Bobby,
Robin & Brant ]

[ That Made The Direction Of The Hunt Juke ]
[ Instead Of Jive ]
[ It Seems That When Our Dad Got Depressed He Never Told The Truth ]
[ About His Intentions To Die ]

[ The Information That She Found Blew My Mind To Pieces ]
[ She Even Found Names Of Possible Nephews & Nieces ]

[ So He Said He Couldn’t Help Us Know A Man With Brant For
His Name ]
[ But He Stated That He Has An Uncle ( BRENT ) Who Sounded
The Same ]

[ He Told My Wife He Had His Number & North
Carolina Was Where He
Lived ]
[ He Had His Uncle’s Number & Then Said ( THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO GIVE ) ]

[ The Next Night I Sat Down & Picked Up The Phone ]
[ I Thought ( THIS IS LIKE WALKING INTO THE UNKNOWN ) ]

[ A Man’s Voice Came On & Sounded Kind Of Gruff ]
[ Asking Him About Five Questions Was Kind Of Rough ]

[ Then He Asked Two Questions That I Thought Was Strange
But Funny ]
[ ( WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME … DO YOU NEED A KIDNEY ) ]

[ That Was The Start Of What We Had ]
[ He Talked About The Kids Who Call Him Dad ]

[ Brent Was All Of The Family That I’ve Got ]
[ Now Death Has Taken Him ]
[ & All Of That Effort Was For Naught ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(173)▪︎[ You’re Gone Now … 2•23•2020 ]

[ Oh Brother Brent, Brother Brent ]
[ Now Who Am I Supposed To Call To Vent? ]

[ Besides My Son & My Wife ]
[ You Were One Of The Biggest, Most Important & Loved
Parts Of My Life ]
[ Now My Heart, Feels Like It’s Been Cut Out, With A Knife ]

[ Then One Night, When You Couldn’t Hang On ]
[ One Swipe Of Death’s Hand ]
[ & You Were Gone ]

[ Now I Sit & Wonder, About Where The Time Went ]
[ Who Is Responsible For The Bad Times That Were Sent? ]
[ It Wasn’t Superman ]
[ Or Clark Kent ]

[ What Ever Happened, I’ll Never Know ]
[ Why Did You, Have To Go? ]
[ I’ll Never Know ]
[ Why Do I Feel, So Low? ]
[ This, I Know ]

[ I Feel, For Your Family Members ]
[ They Will Always Have Memories Of You, That They Will
Remember ]

[ I Know, That I Do ]
[ I Will Always Remember The Days, When We Came Out
To North Carolina ]
[ & Met You ]

[ I Had To Wait ]
[ All Of Those Years ]
[ Until 1998 ]

[ We Were Apart For Over 30 Years, But Not Of Our Doing ]
[ Growing Up Knowing You Were Out There, But We
Could Not Meet ]
[ Was Quite Grueling ]

[ I Remember What You Asked When I First Called You In N.C. ]
[ ( WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME? ) ]
[ ( DO YOU NEED A KIDNEY? ) ]

[ I Thought That I Could Not Get That Comment From No Other ]
[ I Said To You ]
[ ( WELL, I AM CALLING YOU BECAUSE I THINK YOU ARE MY
BROTHER ) ]

[ I Didn’t Know What To Expect ]
[ But You Did Not Scoff & Show Disrespect ]

[ It Is Hard To Talk About You In The Past Tense ]
[ Especially When None Of This Makes Sense ]

[ We Hardly Scratched The Surface Of Brotherhood ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

(174)▪︎[ The Ones That We’ve Got … 2•23•2020 ]

[ Here’s To The Ones That We’ve Got ]
[ So Long To The Ones That Are Not ]

[ Friends Sometimes Come & Go ]
[ Is Family The Only Ones That We Know ]

[ Family Is Not Only Through Blood ]
[ Sometimes So Called Family Have Veins Full Of Mud ]

[ They Don’t Always Have Your Best Interests @ Heart ]
[ Sometimes That Family Doesn’t Play The Part ]

[ Feel Blessed Because Of Those You Have Around You ]
[ Be Thankful If You Have One Good Friend ]
[ Be Ecstatic If You Have Two ]

[ Build An Environment Based On Love ]
[ Make It So It Fits You Like A Tight Glove ]

[ Show As Much Appreciation As Possible ]
[ Help Making Problems Plausible ]

[ Do Unto Others As You Want Done Onto You In Your Life ]
[ Treat All With Respect ]
[ Especially Your Children & Wife ]

[ Always Cherish ]
[ Never Embarrass ]

[ Because How Would That Feel ]
[ If You Found Out That Those Around You Were Not Real ]

[ Real In The Form Of Honest, Courteous & Sincere ]
[ Surround Yourself With Ones That Want You Near ]
[ But Always Make It Clear ]
[ If They’re Not Positive & Have Your Best Interests @ Heart ]
[ They’re Out Of Here ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo iā ‘oe ]
[ A hui hou mākou ]
[ Aloha ] ‎
‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]