(861)▪︎[ I Think I’ll Pass … 10•11•2021 ]

[ Right Now Things Are Tough All Over ]
[ Instead Of The Need To Go Outside ]
[ You Want To Hide Under The Covers ]

[ But You Have To Go Out There For Survival Supplies @ Some
Time ]
[ Will You Need To Get Some Lemons To Go With Your Lime? ]

[ You Can’t Be Around Others Anytime Soon ]
[ But You Don’t Want To Get Lazy ]
[ By Not Getting Out Of Bed Before Noon ]
[ Will Your Eyesight Go Hazy ]
[ In This Man-Made Cocoon? ]

[ No Friends Or Visitors To Stop By ]
[ You Would Even Settle For A Solicitor ]
[ To Knock On The Door To Say (HI) ]

[ But Before ]
[ Answering The Door ]
[ Would You Ask (WHO OR WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?) ]

[ Would Your Health Be In Danger ]
[ If You Ever Opened The Door To A Stranger? ]

[ What If They Wanted To Shake Your Hand ]
[ Right There, Where You Stand? ]

[ How Do You Diffuse ]
[ A Friendly Gesture ]
[ That You Flat Out Refuse? ]

[ Instead Of Pondering This Situation On Your Mind ]
[ You Would Say (OH, YOU’re BEING TOO KIND) ]

[ But You Would Tell Them That You Pass ]
[ Real Fast ]
[ & Hope That It Won’t Kick You In The Ass ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(858)▪︎[ Nature -vs- Nurture? … 10•10•2021 ]

[ I Often Wonder About Nature -vs- Nurture ]
[ Which One Really Drives Me Into The Future? ]

[ Which One Do I Have To Thank ]
[ About How Much My Dad Drank? ]

[ His Dad Or His Mom? ]
[ Which One Was Responsible For Him Getting Bombed? ]

[ It Seemed Like My Dad Had A Temper When He Would Drink ]
[ He Did Impulsive Things Before He Would Think ]

[ He Seemed To Become A Mess ]
[ When He Would Drink To Excess ]

[ But Then I Look @ My Brother & My Sisters Lives ]
[ They Drank ]
[ & Did Drugs For Many Many Nights ]

[ The (3) Of Us Have The Same Gene’s, From The Same Mom
& Dad ]
[ But (2) Out (3) Of Us Turned Out Sad ]

[ Our Mom Signed Off Her Parental Rights One Day ]
[ Then She Ran Away ]

[ She Wiped Her Hands Of Us ]
[ Walked Out Of The Courthouse ]
[ Then Caught A Bus ]

[ I Was Once Asked What I Would Say To Her If She Was To
Someday Knock On My Door ]
[ I Would Ask (1) Question ]
[ (WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?) ]

[ A Relationship As Her Son? ]
[ It Was My Belief That Once She Signed That Document ]
[ Her Relationship With Any Of Us, Was Done ]

[ The Whole Reason Why My Dad Came Over To Hawaii To Get My
Sister & I, Was To Raise Us As His Own ]
[ When He Came Home Drunk That Fateful Night, He Should Have
Left That Gun Alone ]

[ He All Of A Sudden Got This Homicidal Thirst ]
[ Because He Tried To Kill His Girlfriend First ]

[ To His Dismay ]
[ The Gun Did Not Fire ]
[ So Things Did Not Go His Way ]

[ The Situation Became Dire ]
[ So When He Put It To His Head, This Time It Did Fire ]

[ He Was Drunk The Night That He Died ]
[ My Brother Was Drunk The Night That He Died ]
[ Was My Sister High The Night That She Died? ]

[ I Actually Do Not Know If My Sister Has Passed Yet ]
[ But With Her Lifestyle Being What It Is ]
[ It Is A Good Bet ]

[ Becoming A Drug Addict Or Alcoholic Has Never Been One Of
My Biggest Fears ]
[ The Last Time That I Touched Any Drugs Was Around 1984 ]
[ The Last Time I Touched Alcohol Has Been Over (25) Years ]

[ Why Did Both Of My Siblings Go That Route? ]
[ Should I Sleep With Doubt? ]

[ With (1) Eye Open & (1) Eye Shut? ]
[ Wondering If This Was My Destiny ]
[ No Matter What? ]

[ My Sister Was Given The Same Upbringing As Me ]
[ Why Couldn’t She ]
[ Stay & Live Drug Free? ]

[ As We Grew, There Was No Drug Use ]
[ We Were Both Raised In A Home That Was Free Of Child Abuse ]

[ What Pointed Me To Have A Love For Playing Sports? ]
[ & She Went To Drugs & Days In Courts? ]

[ I Really Believe It Was The People That We Chose ]
[ & The Ones Who Remained Close ]

[ My Sister Chose To Follow The Footprints From The Kids
Down The Street ]
[ I Chose To Make A Path From My Own (2) Feet ]

[ My Brother Was Passed Out Drunk The Last Night That He Was
Alive ]
[ Thankfully His Daughter Did Not Allow Him To Drive ]

[ So He Did Not Kill Anyone Else ]
[ That Was Not How He Killed Himself ]

[ So The Addiction Part Flows Through My System ]
[ But I Am Not Letting It Cause A Problem ]

[ I Tried Drugs Several Decades Ago ]
[ Knowing What I Do Now Know ]
[ I Am So Thankful When I Said (NO!) ]

[ Drugs And Alcohol Use Are Not (2) Things That I Fight ]
[ Even Though My Dad & Brother Were Drunk On Their Last Night ]
[ But My Sister Has Been Nowhere In Sight ]

[ For The Last (10) Years Or So ]
[ Her Drug Use Got So Bad & The Relationship Turned Toxic ]
[ I Told Her To Go ]

[ Take Her Lifestyle Elsewhere ]
[ But Now, I Don’t Know Where ]

[ Is Addiction In The Nurture Or In The Nature? ]
[ I Am Not Sure ]

[ Maybe It Is The Mind-Set ]
[ That I Get ]

[ Addiction Can Come On Fast ]
[ I Know How To Keep Alcohol & Drugs In The Past ]

[ I Know In My Heart ]
[ I Just Won’t Start ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(1300)▪︎[ A Bump … 11•7•2019 ]

[ When The Sky Turns Dark ]
[ & Something Makes The Dogs Bark ]

[ Should That Make You Fearful Of A Bump In The Night? ]
[ Would You Feel Differently If There Was A Bump When
It’s Light? ]

[ What Exactly Does The Bump Consist Of? ]
[ When It’s In The Dark It’s Evil ]
[ When It’s Light It Could Give You Love ]

[ Why Is The Bump Negative? ]
[ What Can Make It Positive? ]

[ Is The Color Of Sky What Pushes It One Way Or The Other? ]
[ When It Is Light Out Things Are Okay ]
[ When It’s Dark Out, You Run For Cover ]

[ So Quickly, Turn On The Lights ]
[ Hurry & Shine The Light Down On What Gives You The Frights ]
[ Do You Think That Your Judgements Are Right? ]

[ Are They Justifyed ]
[ Are You Mystified ]

[ When & Where Did This Fright Begin? ]
[ If You Dealt With The Bump Once ]
[ Could It Happen To You Again? ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(1298)▪︎[ My Head … 11•6•2019 ]

[ Where Has My Head Been? ]
[ In The Clouds ]
[ When? ]
[ When There’s A Crowd ]

[ In My Mind ]
[ Because That’s When I’m Inclined ]
[ To Latch Onto Words ]
[ That I Feel That Are Unkind ]

[ They Latch Onto The Memory Part Of My Brain ]
[ Then It’s Like I’m Standing There Staring ]
[ @ The Light Of The Oncoming Train ]

[ Why Can’t I Just Step To The Side ]
[ The Voice Inside ]
[ My Head Said Things Were Okay ]
[ But It Lied ]
[ Because I Really Needed To Get Out Of The Way ]

[ So I Take A Few Steps Back ]
[ Away From The Tracks ]

[ Wow, That Was A Close One ]
[ All I Want To Do Now Is Run ]

[ But I Can’t Escape The Voices In My Head ]
[ Can They Control It With Another Med? ]
[ Or Should I Take Fewer Instead? ]

[ I Need Each & Every Pill & Capsule ]
[ I Could Fall Ill ]
[ & My Senses Could Dull ]

[ I Think I Will Stay Exactly Where I’m @ Med Wise ]
[ Unless My Med Provider Has Been Telling Me Lies ]

[ I Don’t Think So ]
[ How Do I Know? ]

[ I Am Sure ]
[ That I Trust Her ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(1302)▪︎[ Altered States … 11•8•2019 ]

[ Have You Ever Stopped To Think ]
[ Then Had Problems Starting Again? ]
[ Sometimes You Can Blink ]
[ & Wonder Where The Time Went? ]

[ It Is Now A Quarter Past Nine ]
[ But I Only Remember It Being Half Past Three ]
[ Did I Mistakenly Indulge In Some Wine? ]
[ & The Alcohol Was Really Quick To Affect Me? ]

[ Maybe Someone Doctored My Soda With My Sleeping Med ]
[ Did They Want Me Dead? ]
[ Or Just Knocked Out On My Bed? ]

[ My Special Sleep Med Is Dangerous In The Hands Of Someone
Who Wants To Cause Pain ]
[ My Sleeping Medication Can Do Tricks On The Brain ]
[ Sometimes In The Morning The Effect Of The Drug Remains ]

[ Put In The Wrong Hands This Drug Could Cause Harm ]
[ When Under This Drug ]
[ Even A Rattlesnake Has Charm ]

[ Then You Start To Wonder Who You Can Trust ]
[ Your Faith In Others Has Gone Bust ]

[ A Complete Bust Of The Bubble That You Used To Live In ]
[ As For Having The Win Or Lose Mentality ]
[ You’re Never Going To Win ]
[ How’s That For Causality? ]

[ How Do You Come Back From Such A Hellish Ride ]
[ Are Your Eyes ]
[ Now Open Wide? ]
[ Now, What Do You Now Think Of The Guy’s ]
[ That Stand By Your Side ]
[ When They Tell Their Lies ]
[ When Saying That They Never Lied ]

[ When You Proved Them Wrong ]
[ Does That Keep You Going Strong? ]

[ Don’t Try To Figure Out Who Slipped You That Mickey ]
[ Their Mentality Was Fairly Sickly ]
[ Getting The Truth Out Of Some]
[ Would Be Pretty Tricky ]

[ The Best Thing To Do Was To Chill ]
[ Before You Get Ill ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(819)▪︎[ So, So Sad … 9•25•2020 ]

[ Sad, So So Sad What The Fires Have Done ]
[ Some People Were Unable To Pack Anything Of Value ]
[ Because They Only Had Enough Time To Run ]

[ Where Can They Go? ]
[ Where Can They Stay? ]
[ It Is Impossible To Really Know ]
[ Information That They Have Needed Like Yesterday ]

[ Nature Doing This, Is Terrible ]
[ Criminals Coming In ]
[ Is Horrible ]

[ How Many Of Satan’s Spawn ]
[ Have The Blackest Of Souls ]
[ To Go Out To The Burned Areas Between Dusk & Dawn ]

[ & Steal The Valuables That Were Not Burned In The
Devastating Fires? ]
[ When Or If They Are Caught ]
[ They Turn Into The Biggest Liars ]

[ Who Would Break Into The Cars & Trunks & Take Someone’s
Sole Possession? ]
[ Adding On To The Whole Devastation ]

[ How Can They Explain What Is In The Trunk Of Their Cars? ]
[ How Many Transactions Will Happen ]
[ In The Backrooms Of Some Of The Shady Bars? ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(1273)▪︎[ Which Direction? … 10•28•2019 ]

[ When You Go Outside During The Nights ]
[ Don’t Look Down @ The Ground ]
[ Look Out Over The Lights ]

[ Not The Lights Coming From The Cars ]
[ Look @ The Light Coming From The Stars ]

[ The Stars That Are Way Up High ]
[ When You Live In The Country ]
[ The Stars Seem To Cover The Sky ]

[ You Can Be Short Or Tall ]
[ When You Look Up @ The Sky You Feel So Very Small ]

[ You Can Stand In A Field Of Flowers ]
[ & Feel Weak ]
[ From The Loss Of Your Powers ]
[ & That Took Minutes Not Hours ]

[ Where Do You Go From This Point Of Your Life? ]
[ Do You Have To Walk Towards The Light? ]

[ From All That I Know ]
[ You Don’t Have To Go ]
[ & When You Say [ NO ] ]

[ That Frees You Up For Other Things ]
[ Like Going Oversea & Meet Some Actual Queens & Kings ]

[ Leaving The Country Is Not Always The Best ]
[ The Stress ]
[ Can Press ]
[ On Your Chest ]

[ Can You Forge Ahead Not Really Knowing To Go Which Direction ]
[ When You Make A Decision ]
[ Can You Make Any Corrections? ]

[ Or Can You Get By ]
[ Making Decisions On The Fly? ]

[ What If You Are Wrong? ]
[ & Then Find Out Your Window Is Gone? ]

[ Maybe The Best Thing To Do Would Be To Look Within? ]
[ You Might Find The Strength To Once Again, Begin ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(1263)▪︎[ What Injury? … 10•24•2019 ]

[ The Voices Are Always Loud When I’m All Alone ]
[ It Turns Me Cold ]
[ All Of The Way To My Bones ]

[ Do The Voices Always Have The Same Message? ]
[ From The Same Passage? ]

[ Can It Be Passive ]
[ When The Content Was Massive ]

[ Massive Compared To What? ]
[ Do I Always Bleed When I Am Cut? ]
[ But, But, But ]

[ You’re Losing Me With All Of The Impurity ]
[ You’ve Lost Me Because You Caused Me Injury ]
[ & If You Don’t Tell The Whole Truth ]
[ You’ll Be Guilty Of Perjury ]
[ In Front Of Your Peers In The Jury ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(1221)▪︎[ Don’t See The Light … 10•9•2019 ]

[ Now’s The Dark Days Of Your Life ]
[ Because You Can No Longer See The Light ]
[ Now The Mornings ]
[ Are As Dark As The Night ]

[ How Did Such A Horrible Thing Happen To Where
You No Longer Have The Ability ]
[ To See? ]

[ You Feel That You Are Locked Down In A Jail That’s Completely
Dark ]
[ You’re No Longer In Drive ]
[ & Because You Are In Park ]
[ You No Longer Thrive ]

[ Where Are You Going? ]
[ How Do You Get There ]
[ People Are Knowing ]
[ But Most Don’t Show They Care ]

[ People That You Know & Love Are So Apathetic ]
[ & Right Before Your Darkened Eyes ]
[ Looked So Pathetic ]

[ You Are Not Looking For Pity, By Any Means ]
[ But No One Has Any Empathy It Seems ]

[ When You Lay Awake In The Middle Of The Night On Your Bed ]
[ You Dream That You See Daylight In Your Head ]

[ Then The Old Memories Of Sight Come Flooding In ]
[ That Makes These Days ]
[ The Darkest They’ve Ever Been ]

[ When Will You Come Out Of This Living Dream? ]
[ When Will You Stop Hearing Yourself Scream? ]

[ What Are You Screaming For? ]
[ You Hear A Knock ]
[ Now You Wonder Who Is On The Other Side Of That Door ]
[ Maybe It’s Death ]
[ So You Won’t Suffer Anymore ]

[ Do You Open It Or Keep It Closed? ]
[ After You Woke From This Nightmare ]
[ Did You Ever Wonder What You Chose? ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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(1234)▪︎[ How It All Happened … 10•12•2019 ]

[ We Met One Day, Downstairs In A Breakroom ]
[ After That Casual Meeting ]
[ I Didn’t Know That A Year & A Half Later I’d Be Your Groom ]
[ All Of This After I Asked You If You Wanted To
     Rent The Other Room ]

[ It Seems Like We Were Meant To Be Husband & Wife ]
[ The Third Degree Of Separation ]
[ Happened Very Early In My Life ]

[ It Was Like The Turning Of The Clock ]
[ When My Father’s Mother ]
[ Lived Near Your Family Almost On The Same Block ]

[ Then I Was Asked What Your Last Name Was ]
[ Why Did She Want To Know? ]
[ Oh, Just Because? ]

[ When I Said The Name I Gave Your Mother’s Maiden Name ]
[ I Don’t Know Why I Said It ]
[ Because It Wasn’t Even Close To Being The Same ]

[ It Turned Out That Your Mother & My Step-Mother
     Went To School Together When They Were Young ]
[ It’s Not Like The Ladder Was Sturdy ]
[ When I Climbed It Rung By Rung ]

[ I Loved Everything About You When We Talked Late Into
     The Night ]
[ But There Was No Spark ]
[ Until … ]
[ One Day I Woke-Up & Saw You Under A Different Light ]

[ Right Away We Knew We Were Meant For Each Other ]
[ I’ve Had Plenty Of Dates With Other Women In The Past ]
[ After That Awakening Day, I Never Wanted Another ]

[ I Knew I Wanted To Marry You As Soon As Possible ]
[ But Getting You A Good Ring ]
[ Was Far From Probable ]

[ Then I Went To Alaska For The Wedding Of A Friend From
     My College Years ]
[ When I Was Up There I Talked About You So Much ]
[ I Possibly Hurt Their Ears ]

[ From That Conversation a Diamond Wedding Ring Set Fell
     Into My Lap ]
[ I Told Her That There Will A Gap ]

[ Between Now & When It Would Be Paid ]
[ I Thought The Woman Was So Excited ]
[ I Could Have Got Laid ]

[ I Went & Got On The Plane With The Ring Set ]
[ Stuffed In A Box ]
[ & Then Into My Pocket ]

[ I Had To Wait A Few Months Before I Could Propose ]
[ December 25th, 1994 Was The Date That I Chose ]

[ @ First Her Mom Sent Her Off To Another Room With
     A Task ]
[ When She Came Back ]
[ I Knelt Down In Front Of Her & Said That I had Something
     That I Wanted To Ask ]

[ As I Contemplated Where To Sit ]
[ I Looked Her In The Eyes & Asked … (WHAT TIME IS IT?) ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[ Mahalo E Ka hoa ]
[ A hui hou ]
[ Aloha ]

[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]

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