A[ Let ‘Em Laugh ]
[ Let ‘Em Spin ]
[ But Don’t Let Them Cut You In Half ]
[ & Win ]
[ Where Do You Start? ]
[ When Do You Finish? ]
[ Do You Give It Your Heart? ]
[ Or Is That Just A Wish? ]
[ When You Watch What You Say ]
[ & Then Figure Things Out ]
[ You’ll Come To The Day ]
[ When You Figure Out What Life Is All About ]
[ When You Play To Win, Not Lose ]
[ You Make The Conscious Choice ]
[ To Choose ]
[ Of Whether Or Not To Use Your Voice ]
[ Or Drown Your Sorrows In Some Booze ]
[ Alcohol Is Not The Choice That You Should Make ]
[ There Could Be ]
[ The Chance When You Wake ]
[ Your Head Could Feel Like You’ve Been Through An Earthquake ]
[ When Your Head Rattles & Rolls ]
[ It’s Your Body That Takes The Toll ]
[ Each & Everytime You Come To ]
[ You Are Less Than Whole ]
[ In Today’s Society ]
[ Much Less Your Own Family ]
[ One Day You’ll Wake & See ]
[ How Things Are No Longer Free ]
[ & How Destructive Your Behavior Can Be ]
[ To Yourself ]
[ & To Everyone Else ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
Author: rdvoe165
(1235)▪︎[ This Is A Recording … 10•13•19 ]
[ I Remember Putting On A Brave Face ]
[ To Hide The Symptoms Of Depression ]
[ I Always Felt Like A Disgrace ]
[ Because I Needed to Make A Confession ]
[ Whenever Someone Would Ask ]
[ [ HOW ARE THINGS? ] ]
[ I Wanted To Take Off My Mask ]
[ & Tell Them About The Guilt That Depression Brings ]
[ I Could Never Get Away From The Guilt Because It Was
Always On My Mind ]
[ Add My PTSD To The Mix ]
[ & It Seemed Like I Was Always On Rewind ]
[ PTSD Affects Me In Many Different Ways ]
[ & It Can Affect Me For Many Consecutive Days ]
[ Day In & Day Out ]
[ There Were Days Where All I Wanted To Do Was Shout ]
[ Because I Was Having Nightmares That Had To Do With Subjects That
I Knew Nothing About ]
[ Later In The Day The Subject Would Become Clear ]
[ I Was Having Nightmares About Things That I Fear ]
[ Can You Hear That? ]
[ I Can ]
[ I Just Don’t Know Where I’m @ ]
[ As One Man ]
[ Oh, I’ve Been Sitting Here All Of The Time ]
[ Having Flashbacks ]
[ In Between Writing Rhymes ]
[ What’s The Subject For The Day? ]
[ Even In My Confusion ]
[ My Thoughts Can Sit Still & Stay ]
[ But I Didn’t Want Or Need Them All ]
[ When One Wouldn’t Go Away ]
[ It Drove Me Up The Wall ]
[ How Do I Keep My Modesty & Sanity? ]
[ In A World Filled With ]
[ Insanity & Vanity? ]
[ That’s One Reason That I Try To Keep My Thoughts Wrapped
Up Nice & Tight ]
[ Because Sometimes When I Try To Verbalize Them ]
[ Things Don’t Quite ]
[ Sound Right ]
[ But Most Of The Time I Stay In My Head ]
[ So My Expressionless Face Can’t Be Read ]
[ & Complimentary Words Would Go Unsaid ]
[ Often My Home Was My De-Compression Zone ]
[ A Better Place ]
[ Was Never Known ]
[ I Had To Find Another Place Where I Felt As Safe As Before ]
[ Would I Ever Be Able To Find That Door? ]
[ Where It Was Safe To Walk On It’s Floor? ]
[ Now I Know A Place Where I Can Take My Thoughts & Park ]
[ It’s When I Go To Sleep In The Dark ]
[ When I Open My Eyes I’d Hear This Song ]
[ That Usually Told Me When Something Was Wrong ]
[ I’d Tell Myself [ BE STRONG, BE STRONG ] ]
[ Even When I Did Not Quite Know What Was Going On ]
[ When I Could Clearly See ]
[ I’d Find That There Is Nobody In The Room ]
[ With Me ]
[ Then I’d Wonder [ HOW COULD THIS BE? ] ]
[ I Figured Out That It Was Another Flashback ]
[ Caused By My PTSD ]
[ How Can I Get Away From This Disorder ]
[ That Is Like Playing A Recorder ]
[ [ SHUT DOWN! SHUT DOWN! ]
[ Is What I Tell Myself ]
[ But It Never Works, I’ve Found ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(891)▪︎[ Humpty Fell? … 10•23•2020 ]
[ Humpty Dumpy Climbed A Slippery Wall ]
[ All Because He Lost His Ball ]
[ When He Got To The Very Top ]
[ He Took Out His Phone ]
[ Only To Watch It Drop ]
[ He Clasped His Hands But Only Caught
Air ]
[ He Got Upset As He Saw His Broken Phone Down
There ]
[ In Pieces On The Ground ]
[ He Couldn’t Call Out For Help ]
[ Because There Was Nobody Even Around ]
[ He Thought That Surely Mrs. Dumpty Will Throw A Fit ]
[ & Instead Of Empathy ]
[ All She Will Do Is Give Him Shit ]
[ She Would Say ( OH, THAT FIGURES, THAT REALLY SUCKS ) ]
[ Humpty Knew In His Heart ]
[ That Mrs. Dumpty, Thinks Humpty Only Has
Bad Luck ]
[ So He Pulled His Tequila Bottle Out Of The Back
Pocket Of His Pants ]
[ He Took Four Swallows ]
[ & Then Began To Dance ]
[ When He Felt Like The Air Was Thinning ]
[ The Scenery All Around Him Started Spinning ]
[ He Started Feeling Queasy In His Gut ]
[ Then He Felt Immense Pressure In His Butt ]
[ He Didn’t Even Have Time To Ask ( WHAT? ) ]!
[ Then Without Hesitating ]
[ His Body Began To Be A Big Blob With 2 Exits ]
[ With No Waiting ]
[ The Mess That He Was Making ]
[ Was All Because Of The Pills He Was Taking ]
[ So He Definitely Was Not Faking ]
[ The Moans & Groans That Was Coming Out Of
His Mouth ]
[ & The Mess That He Was Making Was Moving Down South ]
[ On The Sides, Front & Back Of The Slippery Wall That
He Was Standing On ]
[ Then All Of A Sudden His Balance Was Gone ]
[ Off The Wall Humpty Fell ]
[ He Was Scared ]
[ He Was So Weak,, He Could Not Even Yell ]
[ He Looked @ The Oncoming Ground & He Knew This
Was Going To Hurt Really Bad ]
[ & That Made Him Sad ]
[ So He Decided To Tuck His Legs ]
[ That Made Him Land Upright Without Any Damage ]
[ Because Humpty-Dumpty Forgot That He Was A
Hard Boiled Egg ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(798)▪︎[ Wrong Places … 9•19•2020 ]
[ It Seems That You Have Been Looking For Love In All
The Wrong Places ]
[ You’ve Been Searching For Love ]
[ In The Eyes Of The Wrong Faces ]
[ Hoping That What They Feel ]
[ Is Heartfelt & Real ]
[ You Do Find That Just Because Someone Takes Care Of You ]
[ Does Not Equate In That They Care For You, Too ]
[ You Have To Know Taking Care Of You Is What They Do ]
[ Like Helping You Up ]
[ To Tie Your Shoe ]
[ No One Has Asked For Your Love Or For You To Care ]
[ They Will Ask If You Have Food To Share ]
[ Other Than That ]
[ No Other Emotion Or Feeling Is There ]
[ Never Sit There & Hope ]
[ Don’t Ever Push The Envelope ]
[ How Would You Cope? ]
[ If You Were To Ask Your Questions ]
[ & The Answer Was Always ( NOPE ) ]
[ You Need To Have Much Much Better Radar ]
[ When You Stop Your Car ]
[ To See Where They Are ]
[ Because On Any Specific Day ]
[ They May ]
[ Be Very Far Away ]
[ & Maybe ]
[ That Is Where They Want To Stay ]
[ They’ve Never Had The Strength ]
[ To Get Any Closer ]
[ Than An Arms Length ]
[ & That Is Okay ]
[ That Is Alright ]
[ It’s Not Everyday ]
[ That You Can Find A Guiding Light ]
[ In Any Way ]
[ You Can Often Hear Through Their Tone ]
[ That They Want To Be Alone ]
[ That Also Means ]
[ That You Shouldn’t Text Them On Their Cell Phone ]
[ Most Don’t Want To Talk ]
[ Or Go For A Walk ]
[ & You’ll Find When They Are @ Their Job ]
[ They Just Want To Sit & Watch The Clock ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(516)▪︎[ I Just Want To Scream!!! … 5•27•2020 ]
[ I Really Feel That I’m Coming Apart ]
[ @ The Seems ]
[ My Breaking Heart ]
[ Just Wants To Scream ]
[ When I Look Left, Then Right ]
[ I Don’t See ]
[ Any Help In Sight ]
[ I Am Being Judged By Behavior That I Have No Control Of ]
[ Through Those Judging Eyes ]
[ I Search For Love ]
[ I Know This May Sound Mean ]
[ But There’s No Compassion To Be Seen ]
[ I Just Want To Throw My Hands Up ]
[ & Close My Heart Shut ]
[ I Want To Crawl Inside ]
[ My Mind ]
[ & Never Come Out ]
[ But Once Inside I Can Just Shout ]
[ Again & Again & Again ]
[ Where Is The Portal? ]
[ Where’s My In? ]
[ The Med I Take Is So So Powerful ]
[ & When I Sleep All Night It’s Wonderful ]
[ But Once In Awhile ]
[ I Wake In The Middle Of The Night & My Personality Is Awful ]
[ I Can’t Control My Words Or Self ]
[ I Yell @ Everyone Else ]
[ I Can’t Help This As Much As I Try To Sleep ]
[ My Perfect Night ]
[ Would Include Not Saying A Peep ]
[ But Through My Fright ]
[ I Don’t Stay That Deep ]
[ I Can’t Control My Mouth Or Actions ]
[ I Need A Distraction ]
[ Because My Mind Right Now Is In Fractions ]
[ Maybe This Is A Push To Push Me Out ]
[ Is There A Doubt? ]
[ Then What Is All This About? ]
[ I Don’t Know ]
[ I Want To Take This Slow ]
[ But I Continue To Look Towards My Mind As A Place To Go! ]
[ No One Can Be With Me In There So There Won’t Be Any Hurt ]
[ I Can Control Myself ]
[ So When I Wake I Won’t Feel Like Dirt ]
[ I Can’t Control Myself Is What I Scream ]
[ When Will I Wake ]
[ From This Horrible Dream? ]
[ Has Anyone Seen My Self-Esteem Rolling Around The Floor? ]
[ Maybe, Just Maybe ]
[ It Was Kicked Out The Front Door ]
[ I Can’t Control My Behavior Is What I Say ]
[ Because Is That The Normal Way ]
[ That I Treat You During The Day? ]
[ I Want To Go In & Never Come Out ]
[ Show Me The Path ]
[ Show Me The Route ]
[ The Mean Times Are So Hard To Predict ]
[ You’d Think By Now ]
[ I Would Have Had These Issues Licked ]
[ But I Don’t ]
[ & As Unpredictable As This Med Is … ]
[ I Won’t ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(513)▪︎[ Friends … 5•26•2020 ]
[ Friends Come In All Sizes & Shapes ]
[ A Good Friend Doesn’t Go By The Wayside ]
[ Like Records & Cassette Tapes ]
[ They Are Not Fly By Nights ]
[ They Always Continue To Be ]
[ The Brightest Lights ]
[ Oh Sure, Some People Grow Apart ]
[ As Life Moves On ]
[ The Memories Of Them Don’t Stay In Your Heart ]
[ When They Are Gone ]
[ When You Get To That Place ]
[ In A Friendship ]
[ Where You Would Never Forget Their Smiling Face ]
[ It Is A Wonderful Feeling When You Meet A Person That’s True ]
[ Through & Through ]
[ The Sky Will Be The Only Thing In Your Life That’s Blue ]
[ No More Dark Days That You Dread ]
[ Now You See Nothing But Hope Up Ahead ]
[ But Fake People Can Mislead ]
[ They’d Take Your House & Deed ]
[ If That’s What They Want ]
[ & Need ]
[ The Friends Want Or Ask For Nothing ]
[ That Is Why I Feel So Good ]
[ Giving Them Everything ]
[ Nothing Gets Stolen, Nothing Comes Up Lost ]
[ You Don’t Watch Them Leave ]
[ & Wonder How Much Did That Day Cost ]
[ You Can Turn Your Back & Not Expect A Knife ]
[ To Be There When You Turn Around ]
[ A Special Friend Adds To Your Life ]
[ Good Friendship Is Nothing ]
[ To Some ]
[ & Really Something ]
[ To Those When It Comes ]
[ When Your Best Friend Shows Up It’s Like A Beacon Of
Light ]
[ When She Arrives ]
[ The Clouds Show Sunlight ]
[ Looking Out Over The Ocean & Watching The Sun Set ]
[ With Your Best Friend ]
[ This Will Happen Many More Times, I Bet ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(495)▪︎[ The Way To Live … 5•19•2020 ]
[ Strength & Honor Is What They Say ]
[ Is The One Way ]
[ That You Should Live Your Life ]
[ Each & Every Day ]
[ When You Lay Your Head Down On Your Pillow @ Night ]
[ Can You Tell Your Conscience ]
[ That You Tried With All Of Your Might ]
[ To Do What You Thought ]
[ Was Right? ]
[ Those Nights You Will Have Good Dreams ]
[ Unlike The Nightmares ]
[ That Make You Let Out Endless Screams ]
[ Dreams, Where The Sky Is Always Blue ]
[ & Your Wishes Show Through ]
[ For You ]
[ Dreams, Where There Are No Words That Harm ]
[ Where The Women Are Beautiful ]
[ & All The Men Have Charm ]
[ Where Chivalry Isn’t Dead ]
[ But Oftentimes A Chivalrous Act ]
[ Can Be Misread ]
[ When A Man Moves In Front Of A Woman To Open
A Door ]
[ His Intentions Are Good ]
[ & It Means Nothing More ]
[ No Good Intention Ever Dies ]
[ If It’s Not Based ]
[ On Deceit & Lies ]
[ But When It’s Time To Wake ]
[ There Is A Last Breath ]
[ That You Take ]
[ You Realize Those Were Not Dreams You Had ]
[ It Was The Afterlife That Was Taking You ]
[ Away From All That Was Bad ]
[ Even Though You Were Not Given The Chance ]
[ To Take Your Wife ]
[ Out For That Last Dance ]
[ She Knows You Are Now In A Better Place ]
[ You Hope That She Will Never ]
[ Ever ]
[ Forget Your Face ]
[ & She Knows That You Will Always Wait ]
[ For Her ]
[ To Join You @ A Later Date ]
[ Only Then, You Will Give Her A Tour ]
[ Of What’s Behind That Pearly Gate ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(487)▪︎[ When Confusion Comes … 5•17•2020 ]
[ Oftentimes When Confusion Sets In ]
[ I Ask Myself ]
[ ( WHEN DID THIS BEGIN? ) ]
[ Who, What, Where Am I Confused About ]
[ I’ll Think That I Have Answer ]
[ Then I Have Doubt ]
[ & That Spreads Like Cancer ]
[ Being Unsure ]
[ Is Not The Cure ]
[ Having Confidence ]
[ Can Make A Huge Difference ]
[ But Surely Not ]
[ Arrogance ]
[ When It Comes To Arrogance, Thy Name
Is Always I ]
[ Why Not, Or Why? ]
[ I Just Don’t Want To Be ]
[ That Type Of Guy ]
[ One Time, Arrogance Almost Got Me Into Trouble
That Was Way Over My Head ]
[ I Wasn’t Thinking Smart ]
[ So I Acted Dumb Instead ]
[ That Was Many, Many, Many Years In The Past ]
[ Things Around Me ]
[ Could Have Burned Up Really Fast ]
[ But I Came Through It & Shut My Head Down ]
[ I Didn’t Want To Be That Kind Of Clown ]
[ That Would Have Caused Alot Of People ]
[ To Frown ]
[ Now Confusing Problems Are Broken Down Into The
Most Basic Parts ]
[ Then When I Look @ It ]
[ I Can Tell Where & When It Starts ]
[ But Now I Can Tell You My Friend ]
[ This Is Where, When & How ]
[ This Story Will End ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(484)▪︎[ Man On The Inside … 5•16•2020 ]
[ Is The Man On The Inside ]
[ The One Who Almost Died ]
[ With His Eyes Open Wide? ]
[ All Bloodshot ]
[ From Thinking Through All Of His ]
[ Incoming Thoughts ]
[ What Should He Do, When They Come Into His Mind? ]
[ Does He Handle The Negative Ones ]
[ Differently, Than The Positive Kind? ]
[ His Mind Is So Complex ]
[ Because His Memory Is Like A Large Rolodex ]
[ When The Thought Comes In ]
[ & The Memory Turns On ]
[ That’s When The Rolling Of The Cards Begin ]
[ One After The Other ]
[ Does He Remind Him Of His Brother? ]
[ What About Her ]
[ & His Mother? ]
[ But The Memory That Comes Into His Head ]
[ Is That Those Two People ]
[ Have Long Been Dead ]
[ If Not, Than Who? ]
[ Each Card Brings Back A Memory ]
[ A Face, A Name ]
[ That’s What They Do ]
[ But In His Eyes ]
[ Most Of Them Looks The Same ]
[ Too ]
[ One By One ]
[ He Doesn’t Remember, He Just Can’t Tell ]
[ He Does Know When He’s Done ]
[ It’s When He Comes Upon The One That Rings A Bell ]
[ & Then The Next Day It Starts All Over Again ]
[ Then ]
[ This Time It Is A Familiar Face ]
[ In An Unfamiliar Place ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]
(193)▪︎[ Why The Need To Fake? … 3•6•2021 ]
[ People Do Not Fake Depression, They Fake That
They Are Okay ]
[ You Need To See For Yourself ]
[ Instead Of Only Listening To What They Say ]
[ Nobody Wants To Hear Bad News ]
[ After They Ask All Of Their Fake ( HOW ARE YOU’s? ) ]
[ People Tend To Walk Away After They Have Heard ]
[ A Negative Word ]
[ Most Of The Time They Gloss Over What They Hear ]
[ Then You Want To Ask ( DO YOU EVER PAY ATTENTION
TO WHAT I SAY WHEN YOU ARE HERE? ) ]
[ It Is Much Easier To Disregard A Text ]
[ They Just Read The One That Is Next ]
[ Then They Can Hit ( DELETE ) ]
[ That Is An Easier Way To Get Rid Of You Than When
You Are Standing There, Feet To Feet ]
[ Why Must People Fake Their Emotions Day In & Day Out ]
~ The End ~
[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]