(172)▪︎[ Hurting … 2•22•2020 ]

[ I Hurt So Much Right Now ]
[ I Am Supposed To Pull It Together ]
[ But I Don’t Know How ]

[ I Lost My Younger Brother Brent A Couple Of Nights
Ago ]
[ He Passed As He Slept ]
[ & Now I Don’t Know ]
[ How Long I’ve Wept ]

[ He Was The Last Member Of My Family In My Mind ]
[ Oh If I Could Only Pound On The Button That Says
( REWIND! ) ]

[ I Don’t Know How Far Back In Years I Would Go ]
[ Then I’d Hit ( PLAY ) ]
[ & Take It Really Slow ]

[ You See, We Were Separated About When He Was One &
I Was Two ]
[ I Knew I Had A Brother Out There ]
[ Somewhere ]
[ But I Had No Clue ]
[ I Grew Up Not Asking Questions ]
[ Because It Seemed Like Nobody Cared ]
[ Or Nobody Knew ]

[ It Wasn’t Until After We Were Married & My Wife Asked ]
[ ( WOULD YOU MIND IF I LOOKED FOR YOUR BROTHER? ) ]
[ I Told Her That She Could Take On That Task ]
[ But I Don’t Want To Know A Thing About Our Mother ]

[ She Tracked Down The Police Report For When My Dad
Shot Himself In The Head ]
[ Seeing This Report Was Something That I Grew Up To Dread ]

[ The Report Sent Her In The Direction That Would Make
Her Rave & Rant ]
[ Because It Said That The Names Of His Children Was Bobby,
Robin & Brant ]

[ That Made The Direction Of The Hunt Juke ]
[ Instead Of Jive ]
[ It Seems That When Our Dad Got Depressed He Never Told The Truth ]
[ About His Intentions To Die ]

[ The Information That She Found Blew My Mind To Pieces ]
[ She Even Found Names Of Possible Nephews & Nieces ]

[ So He Said He Couldn’t Help Us Know A Man With Brant For
His Name ]
[ But He Stated That He Has An Uncle ( BRENT ) Who Sounded
The Same ]

[ He Told My Wife He Had His Number & North
Carolina Was Where He
Lived ]
[ He Had His Uncle’s Number & Then Said ( THIS IS ALL I HAVE TO GIVE ) ]

[ The Next Night I Sat Down & Picked Up The Phone ]
[ I Thought ( THIS IS LIKE WALKING INTO THE UNKNOWN ) ]

[ A Man’s Voice Came On & Sounded Kind Of Gruff ]
[ Asking Him About Five Questions Was Kind Of Rough ]

[ Then He Asked Two Questions That I Thought Was Strange
But Funny ]
[ ( WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME … DO YOU NEED A KIDNEY ) ]

[ That Was The Start Of What We Had ]
[ He Talked About The Kids Who Call Him Dad ]

[ Brent Was All Of The Family That I’ve Got ]
[ Now Death Has Taken Him ]
[ & All Of That Effort Was For Naught ]

~ Ka hopena ~

[  Mahalo iā ‘oe  ]
[  A hui hou mākou  ]
[  Aloha  ] ‎ 
  ‎
[  Na  ]
[  Lopaka DeVoe ]