(1235)▪︎[ This Is A Recording … 10•13•19 ]

[ I Remember Putting On A Brave Face ]
[ To Hide The Symptoms Of Depression ]
[ I Always Felt Like A Disgrace ]
[ Because I Needed to Make A Confession ]

[ Whenever Someone Would Ask ]
[ [ HOW ARE THINGS? ] ]
[ I Wanted To Take Off My Mask ]
[ & Tell Them About The Guilt That Depression Brings ]

[ I Could Never Get Away From The Guilt Because It Was
     Always On My Mind ]
[ Add My PTSD To The Mix ]
[ & It Seemed Like I Was Always On Rewind ]

[ PTSD Affects Me In Many Different Ways ]
[ & It Can Affect Me For Many Consecutive Days ]

[ Day In & Day Out ]
[ There Were Days Where All I Wanted To Do Was Shout ]
[ Because I Was Having Nightmares About Subjects That
     I Knew Nothing About ]

[ Later In The Day The Subject Would Become Clear ]
[ I Was Having Nightmares About Things That I Fear ]

[ Can You Hear That? ]
[ I Can ]
[ I Just Don’t Know Where I’m @ ]
[ As A Man ]

[ Oh, I’ve Been Sitting Here All Of The Time ]
[ Having Flashbacks ]
[ In Between Writing Rhymes ]

[ What’s The Subject For The Day? ]
[ Even In My Confusion ]
[ My Thoughts Can Still Stay ]

[ But I Didn’t Want Or Need Them All ]
[ When One Wouldn’t Go Away ]
[ It Drove Me Up The Wall ]

[ How Do I Keep My Modesty & Sanity? ]
[ In A World Filled With ]
[ Insanity & Vanity? ]

[ That’s One Reason That I Try To Keep My Thoughts Wrapped
     Up Nice & Tight ]
[ Because Sometimes When I Try To Verbalize Them ]
[ Things Don’t Quite ]
[ Sound Right ]

[ But Most Of The Time I Stay In My Head ]
[ So My Expressionless Face Can’t Be Read ]
[ But Then Complimentary Words Would Go Unsaid ]

[ Often My Home Was My De-Compression Zone ]
[ A Better Place ]
[ Was Never Known ]

[ I Had To Find Another Place Where I Felt As Safe As Before ]
[ Would I Ever Be Able To Find That Door? ]
[ Where It Was Safe To Walk On It’s Floor? ]

[ Now I Know A Place Where I Can Take My Thoughts & Park ]
[ It’s When I Go To Sleep In The Dark ]

[ When I Open My Eyes I’d Hear This Song ]
[ That Usually Told Me When Something Was Wrong ]
[ I’d Tell Myself [ BE STRONG, BE STRONG ] ]
[ Even When I Did Not Quite Know What Was Going On ]

[ When I Could Clearly See ]
[ I’d Find That There Is Nobody In The Room ]
[ With Me ]
[ Then I’d Wonder [ HOW COULD THIS BE? ] ]
[ I Figured Out That It Was Another Flashback ]
[ Caused By My PTSD ]

[ How Can I Get Away From This Disorder ]
[ That Is Like A Recorder ]

[ [ SHUT DOWN! SHUT DOWN! ]
[ Is What I Tell Myself ]
[ It Never Works, It Never Works, I’ve Found ]

~ The End ~

[ Mahalo ]
[ A hui hou aku ]
[ Aloha ]   ‎ 
  ‎
[ Na ]
[ Lopaka DeVoe ]